Let me see, this is a about a week ago. I wish I would have written this wicked shit when it was still fresh. I feel stress...
Rhyming while I type is hard not to do because im listening to this damn beat in these new Skullcandy headphones I bought from Studiyo23 the other day. Okay okay okay.... get on point Mr. O.D.
Well i've made friends with a Emcee named Rich Garvey through my adventures at Fifth Element. He's cool. I shot a Music Video for him that I just started editing. It'll be called "Smile". Thats not an advertisement for you to go see the video when its broadcast on Vimeo and Youtube in early July (Sarcasm). That would be in bad taste.
Yo, Guess what.... Video and Photo's for this post! OOOOHHH SHIT SON!!!
I'll get into the story in Just a moment, I decided to make a F.A Update Section for my blog entries as well as my story telling.
Having said that. There is also video footage for the "Soundset" blog entry from last month. So... you can check that out and uh.... thats pretty much it.
So. Showboating; not cool. It was 9:00pm. Actually, I think this was the same night as graduation night in the "Never Land" post... I was just about to kick-back when Rich calls my phone and tells me I can come through; he got me on the guest list. I decided to come as "press". Which is a term I just learned how to start using.
See photographers, journalists and Videographers get alot of slide-throughs because the venue likes "press". Press is photo's and articles and video's about someone or something. The more press you have, the more "buzz" you have. The more buzz you have, the more business you get. Considering its good press.
But, I guess if you were the owner of a club, you'd expect to get some pretty bad press if you were turning journalists away from the door...So I guess its very kiss-assy relationship. And now that I think about it, I always see photographers just "there" sometimes. And journalists, who are probably the photographers, seem to just get to go wherever they want to. "Press" is an interesting hat to wear. People just seem to extend that handshake to you. You walk up to the door, flash a "all access" writstband or card at the bouncer and voile'!; In ya go yo.
I guess its inversely related; the more press (advertisement) you have, the more people you get in the doors to drink your drinks and eat your eats. Also, I guess you wouldnt want to war with someone who buys ink by the barrel... Because "City Pages" and "Vitamin!" are right down the street. And so are all the early-morning latte' drinkers.
Huh, look at me breaking down the city politics.
Woah... Got a little aimless there. Okay, Quality and I drive down to The Cause, Uptown and park in the Intermedia Arts parking lot. Walk up the street to The Cause and got lost... right in front of it. Found it and the bouncer asks to see my I.D and I panic a little bit.
"Im on the guest list I think..."
"I still have to see your I.D"
"Um... just a moment."
I put my camera down and walk to the side with Quality. Pull out my cellphone and I call Rich up because he's already inside. His boy Vincent (I think thats his name) said so.
"Yeah, he's gonna I.D you and then he should let you in."
"Oh ok"
....
The bouncer says he cant let me in though; Im under 21. Rich is like super apologetic after I call him and tell him what the bouncer had just told me. It was like 10:00 so he had like an hour before his performance was beginning. He came and sat with us and we "talked shop" (ooooh, learnin' some cool lingo are we?).
So those were the rules. "No minor's allowed". The city says so because the law says so. And civilians have to abide by the law. If that venue's gonna be servin' liquor, and liquor aint for those who are under 21 years of age, then that venue wont be having any civilians under 21 years of age at their establishment. Too bad.
Too bad there's another society of civilians unlike the 9 to 5 city folk. Theyre called "artist". They talk different, they walk different, they think different and they have their own rules. So thats how I found myself inside of The Cause an hour later performing on stage with Rich. I saw another door that I didnt see before. and some guy.... opens it for me and I sneak in.
I find a quiet place amongst all those "21-or-over-year-olds" and chill.
I felt bad leaving though. After Rich got up to perform we had a on-stage freestyle session. I dont feel I did very good (as usual). But whats really bothering me is that I feel: 1. that I was hogging the mic and 2. that I embarrassed a friend named Mammoth who was also freestyling with us.
I think its because Im not like the others. Other emcee's I mean. I wasnt trying to "hog the mic". When im freestyling (which is hard, mind you) im trying to "sound out a punch-line" and... ugh... this shit is probably getting boring, im gonna stop writing now.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Never Land
Didnt make graduation.
Went to HSRA today to meet with Renee, my science teacher about my final essays but she was too busy. It seems that I'll have to wait until September. which I have heard will actually be more advantageous to me than not. It just makes me feel a bit inadequate.
My attendance at school is pretty horrible. Mostly because of all my adventuring. I've fallen in love with the city. TSo somehow I find myself in arguement with a teacher at the school about a head scarf I just begun wearing a few days ago. Its a big green scarf that I made out of a silky looking blanket and it wraps around my head like a Hijaab.
So I find myself in a teachers office like some kind of child.
I didnt come to start any trouble. I just wanted to get my credits and get the fuck out of there because my artistic identity doesnt match up with my scholarly identity - meaning I should have my diploma by now. And mentally i fell like I do already... so "following school rules" is super-uncool.
The dudes telling me to take my scarf off. I tell him I cant, its apart of my culture.
"What culture?"
"I cant tell you."
I wasnt trying to be a smartass, but I was getting pissed off so I just was saying whatever to get him off my back.
Long story short the dude thinks im wearing the scarf now because Im a five percenter muslim and I cant show my hair to anyone. Im not a muslim and Im not hiding my hair. Look, i'll tell you. Im wearing this because of my celibacy/abstinance.
I... had my first musicians fling a month ago and I felt really sour about it. On my way home from the library downtown I ran into an old friend and she was so taken by my ideas and abilities that I guess she wanted to have sex with me because im a dope emcee. I woke up in the morning feeling wack but she seemed to be in good fucking spirits about the whole thing. Like thats the way things are SUPPOSED to be...
SO I decided to put this on because im ashamed of myself. And I know a little about Muslim women and how they cover their faces because well...the men are supposed to love them for more than just their looks. And let me tell you, those Somalian girls are really sexy. So I thought about it and I decided to cover my face for the same reasons.
I get up in the morning and I get dressed - i think we all do to some degree - in a way pertaining to how I want to attract people. And personally I think I attract what I like. But if im single because of what I have attracted - single and a bit lonely i'll admit - if i am single because of what I have attracted, and I've gotten dressed in dictation of what I want to attract, then I believe I cannot trust myself with my happiness. For look how I am alone. So I've decided to try and un-attract women and kill off all my sexual desires by wearing this scarf.
Thus, "I cant take this off", I keep tellin the guy. Now this guys like the principle of the school and he's a Freemason. He's telling me I have to listen to him because he's my administrator and thats just the way of the world. I mean... he's really letting me have it. Now, I dont know much about the Mason's but I do know they study both the Bible and the Quran so he's got some pretty dope knowledge, im sure. Plus he was in the Navy back in his day so he knows how the world works. So he's telling me that I have to compromise sometimes and thats just how it is...
I happen to be currently reading the Autobiography of Assata Shakur. Some of ya'll may have heard her name through the whole "CNN vs. Common" debacle because of that Poem he spit at the White House about a month ago. Assata is a Revolutionary; think Black Panther. She got fucked over for fighting what she believed in. Like im talkin... Police brutality and political corruption here.
Its inspiring though and It makes me reflect on how far I myself am willing to fight when all odds are against me.
I mean...this is small-scale shit - take off your scarf or you have to leave the school - But I felt at that moment like "I wonder what Assata Shakur would do?" and I decided to keep my scarf on because I believe in my philosophy. But... What if I get pulled over on the New Jersey Turnpike by the State troopers while in the car with 2 of my friends and their telling me we have to take our scarves off because we look like "terrorists"?
And then what if those troopers kill one of my friends and beat me and the other friend within a inch of our life? Will I take it off then?
What if they take me to the hospital and try to get me to talk and I refuse to talk without a lawyer present or some shit, and then they beat me while in the hospital? What if they bum-rush the case so my lawyer doesnt have time to prepare a solid defense and try me while im still in the hospital room like they did Assata? And then hold me in solitary confinement for who knows how long until the real trials begin like a month later? In a cell with centipedes and I have to use the restroom while somebody watches me?
I shudder a bit...
Well that shit kind of pissed me off so I went to the Pre-production room to finish up some beats and found out I didnt have the worse day at all. My good friend Nzinga is telling me about a friend of hers, a good guy - kinda looks like mos def - who tried to commit suicide. Cut his own neck, tried to kill himself. He's tells her that he's sick of chicks breakin his heart and then he just goes for it. Nzinga is all "why i gotta be the one he tell's?" but, m thinkin' empathetically with the dude; He's tryin' to kill himself cause he cant get anyone to love him.
In my phone, I have 6 contacts named "Illusion". They are girls who have broken my heart either partially or totally... 3 of those Illusions go to the school. And since HSRA is so small, I tend to cross paths with em occasionally. At a turn around a corner, or a walk into a room. Everytime I see one - and they see me seeing them but we pretend like the other doesnt exist - I die a little bit and then walk away.
I fell in love with these muthafucka's man... And then she or she comes to school with her make-up all made up and her perfume and her new hairstyles and I watch her. I watch her do to other dudes exactly what she did to me. She led me on and she lied to me.
But, Is heartbreak worth commiting suicide? Well... would you rather die or would you rather live feeling like you're dying? I tell ya, thats one of the main reasons I keep my eyes to myself when I'm on my daily commute. Looking at beautiful women; seductresses... Is hard for me after having been heartbroken a few times. And I think this scarf keeps them away anyway...
I dont know, maybe im just an escapist... Hiding in the city under HipHop's protective wing. And that whole, "this is the way of the world" thing, "no if's, and's, or but's" about it thing that teacher was talking about? He's probably right. Somehow I feel like HipHop is going to protect me though. Its corny, I dont know how many of you all seen the movie Peter Pan but, HipHop is kinda like Neverland, if you think about it.; You can kind of stay there and never have to grow up...
Went to HSRA today to meet with Renee, my science teacher about my final essays but she was too busy. It seems that I'll have to wait until September. which I have heard will actually be more advantageous to me than not. It just makes me feel a bit inadequate.
My attendance at school is pretty horrible. Mostly because of all my adventuring. I've fallen in love with the city. TSo somehow I find myself in arguement with a teacher at the school about a head scarf I just begun wearing a few days ago. Its a big green scarf that I made out of a silky looking blanket and it wraps around my head like a Hijaab.
So I find myself in a teachers office like some kind of child.
I didnt come to start any trouble. I just wanted to get my credits and get the fuck out of there because my artistic identity doesnt match up with my scholarly identity - meaning I should have my diploma by now. And mentally i fell like I do already... so "following school rules" is super-uncool.
The dudes telling me to take my scarf off. I tell him I cant, its apart of my culture.
"What culture?"
"I cant tell you."
I wasnt trying to be a smartass, but I was getting pissed off so I just was saying whatever to get him off my back.
Long story short the dude thinks im wearing the scarf now because Im a five percenter muslim and I cant show my hair to anyone. Im not a muslim and Im not hiding my hair. Look, i'll tell you. Im wearing this because of my celibacy/abstinance.
I... had my first musicians fling a month ago and I felt really sour about it. On my way home from the library downtown I ran into an old friend and she was so taken by my ideas and abilities that I guess she wanted to have sex with me because im a dope emcee. I woke up in the morning feeling wack but she seemed to be in good fucking spirits about the whole thing. Like thats the way things are SUPPOSED to be...
SO I decided to put this on because im ashamed of myself. And I know a little about Muslim women and how they cover their faces because well...the men are supposed to love them for more than just their looks. And let me tell you, those Somalian girls are really sexy. So I thought about it and I decided to cover my face for the same reasons.
I get up in the morning and I get dressed - i think we all do to some degree - in a way pertaining to how I want to attract people. And personally I think I attract what I like. But if im single because of what I have attracted - single and a bit lonely i'll admit - if i am single because of what I have attracted, and I've gotten dressed in dictation of what I want to attract, then I believe I cannot trust myself with my happiness. For look how I am alone. So I've decided to try and un-attract women and kill off all my sexual desires by wearing this scarf.
Thus, "I cant take this off", I keep tellin the guy. Now this guys like the principle of the school and he's a Freemason. He's telling me I have to listen to him because he's my administrator and thats just the way of the world. I mean... he's really letting me have it. Now, I dont know much about the Mason's but I do know they study both the Bible and the Quran so he's got some pretty dope knowledge, im sure. Plus he was in the Navy back in his day so he knows how the world works. So he's telling me that I have to compromise sometimes and thats just how it is...
I happen to be currently reading the Autobiography of Assata Shakur. Some of ya'll may have heard her name through the whole "CNN vs. Common" debacle because of that Poem he spit at the White House about a month ago. Assata is a Revolutionary; think Black Panther. She got fucked over for fighting what she believed in. Like im talkin... Police brutality and political corruption here.
Its inspiring though and It makes me reflect on how far I myself am willing to fight when all odds are against me.
I mean...this is small-scale shit - take off your scarf or you have to leave the school - But I felt at that moment like "I wonder what Assata Shakur would do?" and I decided to keep my scarf on because I believe in my philosophy. But... What if I get pulled over on the New Jersey Turnpike by the State troopers while in the car with 2 of my friends and their telling me we have to take our scarves off because we look like "terrorists"?
And then what if those troopers kill one of my friends and beat me and the other friend within a inch of our life? Will I take it off then?
What if they take me to the hospital and try to get me to talk and I refuse to talk without a lawyer present or some shit, and then they beat me while in the hospital? What if they bum-rush the case so my lawyer doesnt have time to prepare a solid defense and try me while im still in the hospital room like they did Assata? And then hold me in solitary confinement for who knows how long until the real trials begin like a month later? In a cell with centipedes and I have to use the restroom while somebody watches me?
I shudder a bit...
Well that shit kind of pissed me off so I went to the Pre-production room to finish up some beats and found out I didnt have the worse day at all. My good friend Nzinga is telling me about a friend of hers, a good guy - kinda looks like mos def - who tried to commit suicide. Cut his own neck, tried to kill himself. He's tells her that he's sick of chicks breakin his heart and then he just goes for it. Nzinga is all "why i gotta be the one he tell's?" but, m thinkin' empathetically with the dude; He's tryin' to kill himself cause he cant get anyone to love him.
In my phone, I have 6 contacts named "Illusion". They are girls who have broken my heart either partially or totally... 3 of those Illusions go to the school. And since HSRA is so small, I tend to cross paths with em occasionally. At a turn around a corner, or a walk into a room. Everytime I see one - and they see me seeing them but we pretend like the other doesnt exist - I die a little bit and then walk away.
I fell in love with these muthafucka's man... And then she or she comes to school with her make-up all made up and her perfume and her new hairstyles and I watch her. I watch her do to other dudes exactly what she did to me. She led me on and she lied to me.
But, Is heartbreak worth commiting suicide? Well... would you rather die or would you rather live feeling like you're dying? I tell ya, thats one of the main reasons I keep my eyes to myself when I'm on my daily commute. Looking at beautiful women; seductresses... Is hard for me after having been heartbroken a few times. And I think this scarf keeps them away anyway...
I dont know, maybe im just an escapist... Hiding in the city under HipHop's protective wing. And that whole, "this is the way of the world" thing, "no if's, and's, or but's" about it thing that teacher was talking about? He's probably right. Somehow I feel like HipHop is going to protect me though. Its corny, I dont know how many of you all seen the movie Peter Pan but, HipHop is kinda like Neverland, if you think about it.; You can kind of stay there and never have to grow up...
Monday, May 30, 2011
Soundset
I've been having so much fun that I forgot how sad I really am. Maybe I could take my anger out in some rap battles...Go on Grindtime and become a battle emcee...
Up until Soundset I was able to keep my two war's seperate: I mean my war with Hiphop (finding myself) and my war with love (finding my soulmate) but, at Soundset, both were everywhere... I find myself ghosting around the festival ..
I try my best to keep these two things seperate. I guess I wanted to pretend love and Hiphop were unrelated. I even make sure to write about my pathetic love life in a secret book somewhere nobody can find; Its collecting dust from never having anything to write in it anymore.
In both my musical ambitions and romantic I feel somehow incomplete. And Hiphop helps me to pretend my heart doesnt exist.
It keeps me occupied with different community projects and friends and drowns out my hearts thoughts. Soundset woke me from my trance though.. Must have been the incredibly large soundwaves blasting through my body.
Im sitting here at the entrance kind of and I just remembered that I dont like my life for the first time in a while.. I think I had fun here but really all I did was look at chicks that I dont yet have the self-confidence to approach pass me by. Looking at good-looking couples a bit enviously, hiding my defeat behind my fake glasses and pokerface...
People are walking past me right now, almost 20,000 of them.
I dont feel like im here.
De La Soul is performing down there but I walked over here for some reason. Didnt even have any paper to write this on. Im texting this shit to myself so I can type it later...
Its not like im here alone. I came with two friends and met up with 5 more a little after we arrived. Bumped into 15 more friends I'd met on my adventures in the city.. Took pictures with Alicia Steele and Desdamona...
There is no one here for me to fall in love with. Which I must admit is one of my main motivations for living... Or maybe this madness is the final one I need to free my mind of: The want of love. Love is only necessary to those who depend on it to survive. Transcend this and I'll surely be able to see the bigger scheme of things..
But the only way I know how to address this further is to become more O.D... which is happening by the minute...
Huh... its starting to rain...my phone is dying.
You must think im a coward. And I cant talk to women so I just build my reputation until "it" speaks for me. I wonder how strange this sounds to read? Well thats how I feel... you know?
I probably sound crazy but I dont care. I'll die a rapper. Alicia, Desdamona, Mally, Analyrical, the guys at Fifth Element all recognized me and that felt damn good. So... I accept whatever fate comes with my destiny.
My skills, my friends, and the city. If these things lead to my demise then so be it. Because I dont know where im going... And I dont have the answer but, I think maybe if I keep rapping maybe i'll get it.
Up until Soundset I was able to keep my two war's seperate: I mean my war with Hiphop (finding myself) and my war with love (finding my soulmate) but, at Soundset, both were everywhere... I find myself ghosting around the festival ..
I try my best to keep these two things seperate. I guess I wanted to pretend love and Hiphop were unrelated. I even make sure to write about my pathetic love life in a secret book somewhere nobody can find; Its collecting dust from never having anything to write in it anymore.
In both my musical ambitions and romantic I feel somehow incomplete. And Hiphop helps me to pretend my heart doesnt exist.
It keeps me occupied with different community projects and friends and drowns out my hearts thoughts. Soundset woke me from my trance though.. Must have been the incredibly large soundwaves blasting through my body.
Im sitting here at the entrance kind of and I just remembered that I dont like my life for the first time in a while.. I think I had fun here but really all I did was look at chicks that I dont yet have the self-confidence to approach pass me by. Looking at good-looking couples a bit enviously, hiding my defeat behind my fake glasses and pokerface...
People are walking past me right now, almost 20,000 of them.
I dont feel like im here.
De La Soul is performing down there but I walked over here for some reason. Didnt even have any paper to write this on. Im texting this shit to myself so I can type it later...Its not like im here alone. I came with two friends and met up with 5 more a little after we arrived. Bumped into 15 more friends I'd met on my adventures in the city.. Took pictures with Alicia Steele and Desdamona...
There is no one here for me to fall in love with. Which I must admit is one of my main motivations for living... Or maybe this madness is the final one I need to free my mind of: The want of love. Love is only necessary to those who depend on it to survive. Transcend this and I'll surely be able to see the bigger scheme of things..
But the only way I know how to address this further is to become more O.D... which is happening by the minute...
Huh... its starting to rain...my phone is dying.
You must think im a coward. And I cant talk to women so I just build my reputation until "it" speaks for me. I wonder how strange this sounds to read? Well thats how I feel... you know?
I probably sound crazy but I dont care. I'll die a rapper. Alicia, Desdamona, Mally, Analyrical, the guys at Fifth Element all recognized me and that felt damn good. So... I accept whatever fate comes with my destiny.
My skills, my friends, and the city. If these things lead to my demise then so be it. Because I dont know where im going... And I dont have the answer but, I think maybe if I keep rapping maybe i'll get it.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Thats Too HipHop
Im not sure where to start. I've been working with ICanU for the past 3 weeks. ICanU is a bit of an experimental teaching program born of Alan "Sparky" Starks who I met through the school. He called me in to help him teach and it just so happens he and some other students from Studio 4 have been teaching students songwriting and beatmaking. His philosophy (Sparky) is teaching students through what they are already good at and setting up a comfortable learning environment for them to relax in.
I guess he'd heard about the Hip Hop Workshops and things i've taught at Studio 4 for the past year and a half and decided to add me to the team.Turns out these students are children of Hip Hop but I dont feel like he wants to acknowledge it... We had a bit of a debate on whether or not teaching "my Hip Hop", as he put it, would be advantageous or not. Of course, he, a classic studio musician and instrumentalist of over 20 years, having worked with such people as Stevie Wonder and the like, found it easy to say "Lets water it down so that it can be easily digested by students who arent familiar with you know... your style of Hip Hop".
Now cut to yesterday for a second and then we'll cut back to my analysis on this comment...
So me and Quality, who also is working with me at ICanU, went to DJ (well he's the DJ...) at one of the schools we teach at called Edgewood learning center over in Brooklyn Center kind of. We set up the turntables, mixer board, 4 foot speakers (I think the proper term is "monitors") and camera stuff. We have a playlist or two of the things these students wanted to listen to. Mind you, there is a section of students in the school that are autistic.
Its 12:30pm and we're there to entertain for 2 hours. The playlist we'd been given had some oldschool stuff (given by the teachers of the autistic students) like "the twist", "we are family" type joints... Another half of the playlist was pop stuff like Beyonce "Girls rule the world" or... Lil Jon (who I like) "Snap Ya Fingaz" type stuff. On the table are some of our own CD's that we usually have playing in the car or whatever like J-Dilla, Flying Lotus, Nicolay, Foreign Exchange and the like. Everytime I pop one of those CD's in, Quality would pop it out.
He says that "Djing is not about what you want to hear (the DJ), its about what the crowd wants to hear." I nod in agreement and leave him to his thing. We happen to be running out of songs to spin and Quality is trying to compensate by downloading off the internet in the meantime.
"Yo just put that Dilla Joint in"
"Nah, thats too HipHop".
Never thought i'd hear him say that. But he might have been joking. And i wasnt trying to impose, it really was his gig after all, not mine. He's just tyring to keep the crowd pleased at this point. Playing the pop songs that they want to dance to; compromise. Appropriate but... at that point... I wonder what Dilla would do?
I still dont know what to make of the sparky comment though. Quality says we shouldnt burn the bridge but I say fuck it. Because I filmed some 93.X concert for this guy and he gets a little wierd on me when he wanted the footage. I respected him more 3 weeks ago but now he's gotten too fresh with me. I cant prove it right now but Im slowly realizing that im not going to like working under this musician. Im obviously "Too HipHop"...
Its almost like telling someone that they are too "Black" or too "Asian"... Or telling a white dude he cant be a rapper because he's "too White". Fuck off...
I guess he'd heard about the Hip Hop Workshops and things i've taught at Studio 4 for the past year and a half and decided to add me to the team.Turns out these students are children of Hip Hop but I dont feel like he wants to acknowledge it... We had a bit of a debate on whether or not teaching "my Hip Hop", as he put it, would be advantageous or not. Of course, he, a classic studio musician and instrumentalist of over 20 years, having worked with such people as Stevie Wonder and the like, found it easy to say "Lets water it down so that it can be easily digested by students who arent familiar with you know... your style of Hip Hop".
Now cut to yesterday for a second and then we'll cut back to my analysis on this comment...
So me and Quality, who also is working with me at ICanU, went to DJ (well he's the DJ...) at one of the schools we teach at called Edgewood learning center over in Brooklyn Center kind of. We set up the turntables, mixer board, 4 foot speakers (I think the proper term is "monitors") and camera stuff. We have a playlist or two of the things these students wanted to listen to. Mind you, there is a section of students in the school that are autistic.
Its 12:30pm and we're there to entertain for 2 hours. The playlist we'd been given had some oldschool stuff (given by the teachers of the autistic students) like "the twist", "we are family" type joints... Another half of the playlist was pop stuff like Beyonce "Girls rule the world" or... Lil Jon (who I like) "Snap Ya Fingaz" type stuff. On the table are some of our own CD's that we usually have playing in the car or whatever like J-Dilla, Flying Lotus, Nicolay, Foreign Exchange and the like. Everytime I pop one of those CD's in, Quality would pop it out.
He says that "Djing is not about what you want to hear (the DJ), its about what the crowd wants to hear." I nod in agreement and leave him to his thing. We happen to be running out of songs to spin and Quality is trying to compensate by downloading off the internet in the meantime.
"Yo just put that Dilla Joint in"
"Nah, thats too HipHop".
Never thought i'd hear him say that. But he might have been joking. And i wasnt trying to impose, it really was his gig after all, not mine. He's just tyring to keep the crowd pleased at this point. Playing the pop songs that they want to dance to; compromise. Appropriate but... at that point... I wonder what Dilla would do?
I still dont know what to make of the sparky comment though. Quality says we shouldnt burn the bridge but I say fuck it. Because I filmed some 93.X concert for this guy and he gets a little wierd on me when he wanted the footage. I respected him more 3 weeks ago but now he's gotten too fresh with me. I cant prove it right now but Im slowly realizing that im not going to like working under this musician. Im obviously "Too HipHop"...
Its almost like telling someone that they are too "Black" or too "Asian"... Or telling a white dude he cant be a rapper because he's "too White". Fuck off...
Friday, May 27, 2011
The Blue Nile - Charm of the Third Kind
So its 3:00pm. Me and Quality (bad grammar) are driving on 94-west toward Minneapolis on our way to meet an old friend of mine named Shawnee. For some reason though... Shawnee would rather be called Montell...So I do. Quality and me (bad grammar again) are coming from this Highschool in Osseo. We were teaching a Radio and Television class by way of this program called ICanU created by a man named Alan "Sparky" Starks but, im not gonna get into that right now because I have an opinion about all of that which would throw me way off mark.
We get to the library and meet Montell in a quiet spot around 4:00... And I have a meeting with Susan at 5:30.
Introducing the two of those guys was really cool. We talked music, life, ambitions, soul food and the like up until about 5:30 and met up with Susan who was coming out of Uptown traffic. She told me about some possible job/career leads and stuff as the four of us sat down at the Pizza diner across the street from Fifth Element. an hour later, we found ourselves at Intermedia Arts listening to this poetry show thrown by Guante. Which made me feel pretty angry because of the Video I'm currently editing for The Canvas got messed up and I have to start all over... Guess I just have to have faith in my strategic mind.
Well its late... We find ourselves just outside Intermedia arts after being pretty blown away by the performances and trying to figure out how to proceed with the rest of the night. Montell, Quality and me are trying to figure out if we can get to the Blue Nile by 9:30 - when its already 9:11 - In time for me to sign up if we have Susan drop us off downtown at Johns car. She tells us we probably wont make it unless she drops us off at the Blue Nile directly.
As we are riding there, Me in the passenger seat and my entourage in the backseats im just thinking about not thinking about anything... I want to test my theory to blow away the Blue Nile tonight. Well...at least do better than the last time...
The plan was to just kind of...become one with the Blue Nile in a way. Kind of... Surrender to the energy and...let things do as they please... So we head to the gas station (Holiday) to get some (inexpensive) drinks:
Me:This is Quality
Cashier girl: LOL
Me: He's a producer
Cashier: Oh really? what kind of music do you make?
Quality: Wel...
Me: We're about to perform at the Blue Nile across the street
Cashir: oh nice! Are you guys performing together?
Me: Nah. This is Montell And I go by O.D and this Quality, and your Cindy, and together we're The Fucking Awesome's.
Cashier Girl Cindy: *Laughs
Montell: Wow...
Quality: *Turns red
Me: Well we'e gonna head back now.
Cashier Girl Cindy: How long are you guys gonna be around here?
Me: Oh I dont know...A while.
Cashier Girl Cindy: huh?
Me: We'll be back.
Cashier Girl Cindy: Ok.
I hate waiting to perform. Its sometimes a little nerve-wrecking watching the acts before you. Quality and Montell chillin in the back while I kind of pace around in and out of crowds waiting for Desdamona to arrive with the sign up sheet. I stopped and talked with Desdamona a little bit when she came over and asked her a little about "Giant Steps"which Susan was telling me about earlier. Desdamona happens to be apart of Giant Steps. Well anyway:
"#14 __ O.D"
Since My performance wasnt for about an hour down the list, on account of each performance is at least 4-5 minutes (multiplied by 13 performers before me) we decide to hop on the lightrail and travel into the city to get Quality's Car. As we're leaving Desdamona stops me with two soundset tickets in hand.
"Here you guys go."
"Woah.."
"Just make sure you guys come!"
"Hell yeah!"
"Im serious, if you dont come im gonna hunt you down. You better be there, I dont care if you have to hitchhike."
"Im sure we'll be able to ride with Susan or something."
Everyone laughs.
"You guys better be there, Im gonna be looking for you!"
"I'll be looking for you."
"Ah man... thank you so much Des... I'd could hug you right now yo...man..."
We get to the library and meet Montell in a quiet spot around 4:00... And I have a meeting with Susan at 5:30.
Introducing the two of those guys was really cool. We talked music, life, ambitions, soul food and the like up until about 5:30 and met up with Susan who was coming out of Uptown traffic. She told me about some possible job/career leads and stuff as the four of us sat down at the Pizza diner across the street from Fifth Element. an hour later, we found ourselves at Intermedia Arts listening to this poetry show thrown by Guante. Which made me feel pretty angry because of the Video I'm currently editing for The Canvas got messed up and I have to start all over... Guess I just have to have faith in my strategic mind.
Well its late... We find ourselves just outside Intermedia arts after being pretty blown away by the performances and trying to figure out how to proceed with the rest of the night. Montell, Quality and me are trying to figure out if we can get to the Blue Nile by 9:30 - when its already 9:11 - In time for me to sign up if we have Susan drop us off downtown at Johns car. She tells us we probably wont make it unless she drops us off at the Blue Nile directly.
As we are riding there, Me in the passenger seat and my entourage in the backseats im just thinking about not thinking about anything... I want to test my theory to blow away the Blue Nile tonight. Well...at least do better than the last time...
The plan was to just kind of...become one with the Blue Nile in a way. Kind of... Surrender to the energy and...let things do as they please... So we head to the gas station (Holiday) to get some (inexpensive) drinks:
Me:This is Quality
Cashier girl: LOL
Me: He's a producer
Cashier: Oh really? what kind of music do you make?
Quality: Wel...
Me: We're about to perform at the Blue Nile across the street
Cashir: oh nice! Are you guys performing together?
Me: Nah. This is Montell And I go by O.D and this Quality, and your Cindy, and together we're The Fucking Awesome's.
Cashier Girl Cindy: *Laughs
Montell: Wow...
Quality: *Turns red
Me: Well we'e gonna head back now.
Cashier Girl Cindy: How long are you guys gonna be around here?
Me: Oh I dont know...A while.
Cashier Girl Cindy: huh?
Me: We'll be back.
Cashier Girl Cindy: Ok.
I hate waiting to perform. Its sometimes a little nerve-wrecking watching the acts before you. Quality and Montell chillin in the back while I kind of pace around in and out of crowds waiting for Desdamona to arrive with the sign up sheet. I stopped and talked with Desdamona a little bit when she came over and asked her a little about "Giant Steps"which Susan was telling me about earlier. Desdamona happens to be apart of Giant Steps. Well anyway:
"#14 __ O.D"
Since My performance wasnt for about an hour down the list, on account of each performance is at least 4-5 minutes (multiplied by 13 performers before me) we decide to hop on the lightrail and travel into the city to get Quality's Car. As we're leaving Desdamona stops me with two soundset tickets in hand.
"Here you guys go."
"Woah.."
"Just make sure you guys come!"
"Hell yeah!"
"Im serious, if you dont come im gonna hunt you down. You better be there, I dont care if you have to hitchhike."
"Im sure we'll be able to ride with Susan or something."
Everyone laughs.
"You guys better be there, Im gonna be looking for you!"
"I'll be looking for you."
"Ah man... thank you so much Des... I'd could hug you right now yo...man..."
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
They'll Challenge You
My Highschool graduation is around the corner. June 16th. But im sure my deadline is like... June 7th or something. Im just trying to keep that in mind. My tunnel vision is on December when the U of M starts registration though.
Its strange though, I am already graduated in my mind... My maturity and understanding of the world around me isnt what it was when I first started at HSRA. Having said that, My teacher is pissing me the fuck off. Trying to get me to take a test to get the school their numbers.
I dont know much about the school's darkside, but I can sense that when I denied to take the test that I was write to suspect that something fishy was going on. I dont want to know what it is, I just want to finish my credits and validations so I dont have to worry about this anymore.
Focus
Its strange though, I am already graduated in my mind... My maturity and understanding of the world around me isnt what it was when I first started at HSRA. Having said that, My teacher is pissing me the fuck off. Trying to get me to take a test to get the school their numbers.
I dont know much about the school's darkside, but I can sense that when I denied to take the test that I was write to suspect that something fishy was going on. I dont want to know what it is, I just want to finish my credits and validations so I dont have to worry about this anymore.
Focus
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Fusing Demetrius and O.D
Aso... The point emerges.
Registration for the U of M is in December
That gives me some time to make some music (the beat assassin project)
Im about to graduate from High school in June. I'll have the whole summer.
I can get recording done in a few places now. I've made some friends.
I'll get a part-time job and save up some money for my life on a college campus.
My biggest fear was always having to cut my hair.
But this'll give me a reason to keep my hair twisted up so I can grow my afro out for the next 6 or 7 months.
My time will be divided into 3 things: school, music, money.
It was silly of me to only depend on my art to make money. I am also quite intelligent and that is worth money as well. So I need not limit myself to just music...
Not that everything revolves around money.
But money will help me to eat. Or, take someone to the movies when I want to go. Or, give someone some gas money when they take me somewhere. Or, tip my barber when she does a good job. So lets shoot for a part-time job in June.
I have access to different tools already for free. I have loving friends and shouldnt be so paranoid that my destiny will be ruined by a part-time job. I dont know who or what planted that idea in my mind. But, nobody is gonna take my artistic integrity or personality from me.
I will always be who I want to be. Getting a part-time job is a "part-time" thing. And its not like I cant write rhymes at work.
Its not like I need 24 hours a day to make a song... I spend most of my time doin chill-stuff anyway. Plus, when I get off of work, I'll have some money to throw little get-togethers for my friends that we can make music at..
So when I get to december I will be in a new world; college. New people, and more of em'. which means new experiences more frequently.
Which will be an energy I can channel into my musical evolutions...
I should be able to afford my own place As a college student by this time. With money saved up.
I should have a decent name around the city by this time. With honorable accomplishments. I believe in a Organic lifestyle, just as I believe in organic music; music with the ability to grow and evolve. HipHop, for one thing, is my soul food. If I do not eat enough of it per month... I will die of starvation... fall back into my bluesy melancholy. I would live on my music alone if I could (and I probably could), away from the world in a way but the thing is... The world exists... And I exist within it.
There's nothing wrong with being a human...There should be a lifestyle though, that will allow me to feed both my physical and spiritual appetites. The only way to see it though is to fuse myself with myself... Im fighting myself too much. I think that if I work with myself I will reach the level I am trying to get to this year.
I think most (aspiring) artists have a paranoia and phobia of a 9-5... I am coming to the realization that we are quite child-like, stubborn and irresponsible at times. And that our fear comes from us being control freaks. But if that is true then that means our sense of control was made out of fear. And fear is weakness. And I do not want to "Control" my fear... I want to kill it. Taking pride in a sense of control (no matter how creatively put) made from our fears is cancer. We'll limit our oppurtunities and tools that will be advantageous to our ultimate goals.
Our natural stubborn attitude will make us put ourselves in unessecary stresses that can be easily avoided if we would only open our minds to the fact that we can use part-time jobs to our advantage. Think about it... If you dont like the damn job, you could just quit it and do all the stuff you were going to do anyway... But with less money. Which is possible sure, because the artists circle is quite crafty and loyal; friends would see that you are not unhappy and off-path.
This brings me back to a scene in one of my favorite anime's (more bad grammar) "Samurai Champloo" that led to my experience of Japanese Super-Producer "Nujabes" music. Nujabes who died unfortunately, not too long ago, was a big influence on me in 2008.
Well, the scene is in one of the very last episodes when a counselor of the Shogunate has arrived to deliver orders to this master swordsman to assasinate a wanted revolutionary and his daughter "fuu", who is one of the main characters. The master swordsman is in his garden attending to his many plants on a sunny afternoon... The Shogunates counselor enters the scene abruptly:
"Kareya.."
"My, what a suprise. To what occasion do I owe the honor, counselor?"
"Do you really need for me to spell out the reason for my visit today?"
"Not at all, I have a pretty good idea."
"We are in a race against time right now. I only know a little bit but I have heard that the felon from the Ryukyu's and the ronin from the Mujushin-dojo are both incredibly gifted swordsmen and should not be treated lightly."
"I have heard that as well"...
And this is funny to hear him say, the master samurai, because he's never been seen in the whole 23 episodes prior to this one... So it insists he's been like this monster waiting to be summoned... But the whole scene he talks with this salty, peaceful voice and keeps this buddha-like face. Sorry if this is too corny by the way; me equating myself to a samurai. But there is a point to this.
So where were we?:
"There is one more thing you should know: I have heard that they are about to make contact with Seizo Kasumi (the revolutionary) any day now. If they manage to meet up with him before we finish rounding up the stragglers from the Shimabara rebellion, it will make things very complicated."
"Counselor, since you made the trip.. do me a favor.. Allow me to show you some of the flowers in my garden.."
"... There is no time for that. Understand?"
"Are you aware of the proper method one should utilize to eliminate weeds?"
"Hm?"
"You see.. weeds, when left unchecked, will rob the flower of its proper nutrients. So what do you do? If you uproot the weed then you disturb the flower. Its roots and soil do not like to be interfered with."
"So, what do you do?"
"You learn to plant flowers that utilize the weeds as a form of nourishment. Take a look, this flower is an example of a beautiful exterior hiding its true intentions. Intentions that are really quite brutal."
Which goes to prove my point of using a part-time job to my advantage...
For the next 4 months, my time will be devoted to my part-time job and my music. The 4 months after that will be the same, except I will have acquired at least $2600 - $3000 and finished 3 Beat Assassin projects. Performed at least 8 shows and also had some involvement with some unforeseen community projects and events. This will be September. In december, Which will be four months later I should have at least doubled my accomplishments. Almost $6000 saved up (minus some expensive dates or unworthy impulse shopping) and almost 20 shows and open mics.
Well, when school starts for me in January, I'll quit that job so that I do not have to compromise the time that I use for music. The time I spent at work will be replaced with time spent studying. At that point, My time will be devoted to my studies and my music and probably some unforeseen community involvment or experience.
Registration for the U of M is in December
That gives me some time to make some music (the beat assassin project)
Im about to graduate from High school in June. I'll have the whole summer.
I can get recording done in a few places now. I've made some friends.
I'll get a part-time job and save up some money for my life on a college campus.
My biggest fear was always having to cut my hair.
But this'll give me a reason to keep my hair twisted up so I can grow my afro out for the next 6 or 7 months.
My time will be divided into 3 things: school, music, money.
It was silly of me to only depend on my art to make money. I am also quite intelligent and that is worth money as well. So I need not limit myself to just music...
Not that everything revolves around money.
But money will help me to eat. Or, take someone to the movies when I want to go. Or, give someone some gas money when they take me somewhere. Or, tip my barber when she does a good job. So lets shoot for a part-time job in June.
I have access to different tools already for free. I have loving friends and shouldnt be so paranoid that my destiny will be ruined by a part-time job. I dont know who or what planted that idea in my mind. But, nobody is gonna take my artistic integrity or personality from me.
I will always be who I want to be. Getting a part-time job is a "part-time" thing. And its not like I cant write rhymes at work.
Its not like I need 24 hours a day to make a song... I spend most of my time doin chill-stuff anyway. Plus, when I get off of work, I'll have some money to throw little get-togethers for my friends that we can make music at..
So when I get to december I will be in a new world; college. New people, and more of em'. which means new experiences more frequently.
Which will be an energy I can channel into my musical evolutions...
I should be able to afford my own place As a college student by this time. With money saved up.
I should have a decent name around the city by this time. With honorable accomplishments. I believe in a Organic lifestyle, just as I believe in organic music; music with the ability to grow and evolve. HipHop, for one thing, is my soul food. If I do not eat enough of it per month... I will die of starvation... fall back into my bluesy melancholy. I would live on my music alone if I could (and I probably could), away from the world in a way but the thing is... The world exists... And I exist within it.
There's nothing wrong with being a human...There should be a lifestyle though, that will allow me to feed both my physical and spiritual appetites. The only way to see it though is to fuse myself with myself... Im fighting myself too much. I think that if I work with myself I will reach the level I am trying to get to this year.
I think most (aspiring) artists have a paranoia and phobia of a 9-5... I am coming to the realization that we are quite child-like, stubborn and irresponsible at times. And that our fear comes from us being control freaks. But if that is true then that means our sense of control was made out of fear. And fear is weakness. And I do not want to "Control" my fear... I want to kill it. Taking pride in a sense of control (no matter how creatively put) made from our fears is cancer. We'll limit our oppurtunities and tools that will be advantageous to our ultimate goals.
Our natural stubborn attitude will make us put ourselves in unessecary stresses that can be easily avoided if we would only open our minds to the fact that we can use part-time jobs to our advantage. Think about it... If you dont like the damn job, you could just quit it and do all the stuff you were going to do anyway... But with less money. Which is possible sure, because the artists circle is quite crafty and loyal; friends would see that you are not unhappy and off-path.
This brings me back to a scene in one of my favorite anime's (more bad grammar) "Samurai Champloo" that led to my experience of Japanese Super-Producer "Nujabes" music. Nujabes who died unfortunately, not too long ago, was a big influence on me in 2008.
Well, the scene is in one of the very last episodes when a counselor of the Shogunate has arrived to deliver orders to this master swordsman to assasinate a wanted revolutionary and his daughter "fuu", who is one of the main characters. The master swordsman is in his garden attending to his many plants on a sunny afternoon... The Shogunates counselor enters the scene abruptly:
"Kareya.."
"My, what a suprise. To what occasion do I owe the honor, counselor?"
"Do you really need for me to spell out the reason for my visit today?"
"Not at all, I have a pretty good idea."
"We are in a race against time right now. I only know a little bit but I have heard that the felon from the Ryukyu's and the ronin from the Mujushin-dojo are both incredibly gifted swordsmen and should not be treated lightly."
"I have heard that as well"...
And this is funny to hear him say, the master samurai, because he's never been seen in the whole 23 episodes prior to this one... So it insists he's been like this monster waiting to be summoned... But the whole scene he talks with this salty, peaceful voice and keeps this buddha-like face. Sorry if this is too corny by the way; me equating myself to a samurai. But there is a point to this.
So where were we?:
"There is one more thing you should know: I have heard that they are about to make contact with Seizo Kasumi (the revolutionary) any day now. If they manage to meet up with him before we finish rounding up the stragglers from the Shimabara rebellion, it will make things very complicated."
"Counselor, since you made the trip.. do me a favor.. Allow me to show you some of the flowers in my garden.."
"... There is no time for that. Understand?"
"Are you aware of the proper method one should utilize to eliminate weeds?"
"Hm?"
"You see.. weeds, when left unchecked, will rob the flower of its proper nutrients. So what do you do? If you uproot the weed then you disturb the flower. Its roots and soil do not like to be interfered with."
"So, what do you do?"
"You learn to plant flowers that utilize the weeds as a form of nourishment. Take a look, this flower is an example of a beautiful exterior hiding its true intentions. Intentions that are really quite brutal."
Which goes to prove my point of using a part-time job to my advantage...
For the next 4 months, my time will be devoted to my part-time job and my music. The 4 months after that will be the same, except I will have acquired at least $2600 - $3000 and finished 3 Beat Assassin projects. Performed at least 8 shows and also had some involvement with some unforeseen community projects and events. This will be September. In december, Which will be four months later I should have at least doubled my accomplishments. Almost $6000 saved up (minus some expensive dates or unworthy impulse shopping) and almost 20 shows and open mics.
Well, when school starts for me in January, I'll quit that job so that I do not have to compromise the time that I use for music. The time I spent at work will be replaced with time spent studying. At that point, My time will be devoted to my studies and my music and probably some unforeseen community involvment or experience.
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