I am so... sleepy... but i said I was going to write this so I am. Oh I wish i could upload some pictures for you guys but, unfortunately I need a new camera so you'll have to settle for my writings in bare form for now.
I arrived home laughing; it was a good night. I had arrived a little too late to sign up for the performers list so I found myself signing up for the audience list instead which I detest a bit. But it was worth it, I got to see local Hip Hop Royalty Desdamona and Carnage rip the mic.
Its pretty cool, Carnage recognized me from the event in St. Paul that I attended to with the HSRA choir, though I performed independently. So I felt and still feel really bad about not having that video ready yet for Rachel and its been so long. Well that was the least of my worries at the time because guess who I bumped into for the first time in a long while?
My First love from 4 or 5 years ago was there at the open Mic. Woah, im falling asleep at the computer. I'll elaborate later on today. Peace
Okay so I got some sleep, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I saw Jazzmin there with another girl i'd known since middle school. They recognized me right off bat which was kind of wierd to me... There was no hesitation when they saw me just "Hey Demetrius!" and then hugs... And seeing them was nice but there was something more interesting to watch once I sat down to watch the performances. I didn't catch her name and we all know im too shy to just walk up to her and ask when other people are around (that's my excuse). She was pretty. Long black hair and glasses...probably in her 20's and I guess she was one of the Voices Merging visual artists... I don't know, I don't want to ramble too much because if I do, this whole blog will be about me on this HipHop quest to find her on some Brown Sugar shit and probably get the story turned into a movie...
Well when I got home that mixed emotion became inspiration to begin writing this song im going to call "pick-up line". Its funny, When I write I construct these fantasies and I see these...scenes when I write... Especially when writing about a person in particular. My creative energy combined with pen, pad and a heavy beat some how put me in this...meditation and I begin to write out the things I see in my minds eye through english.
In this case I wrote out a scene so vividly I could almost...almost... almost... I could almost reach out and touch her... It may be strange to you 5-9ers, but to the artist this is normal. I've never even spoken to this girl and yet i've already developed a relationship with her that she doesn't even know about...its kinda like I heard Desdamona say while she was on the mic with it: "all you ever helped me with was write this rhyme..." (I may have misquoted).
If you take a look at one of my rhymebooks you will see lyrics from front to back and think "Wow this guy has alot of rhymes he's trying to turn into songs" but truly, My rhymebooks are full of fantasies Im trying to turn into reality but I lack something... Confidence I think. Its almost self-sabotage because I do have the confidence, we all do, I just dont let myself go there yet for some reason. Im slowly starting to lose that habit though. Its strange, something is changing me. And I dont want to sound corny but I think its HipHop somehow. Its helping me to become more and more like how I picture myself in my head...
*Shrugs
No comments:
Post a Comment