Let me see, this is a about a week ago. I wish I would have written this wicked shit when it was still fresh. I feel stress...
Rhyming while I type is hard not to do because im listening to this damn beat in these new Skullcandy headphones I bought from Studiyo23 the other day. Okay okay okay.... get on point Mr. O.D.
Well i've made friends with a Emcee named Rich Garvey through my adventures at Fifth Element. He's cool. I shot a Music Video for him that I just started editing. It'll be called "Smile". Thats not an advertisement for you to go see the video when its broadcast on Vimeo and Youtube in early July (Sarcasm). That would be in bad taste.
Yo, Guess what.... Video and Photo's for this post! OOOOHHH SHIT SON!!!
I'll get into the story in Just a moment, I decided to make a F.A Update Section for my blog entries as well as my story telling.
Having said that. There is also video footage for the "Soundset" blog entry from last month. So... you can check that out and uh.... thats pretty much it.
So. Showboating; not cool. It was 9:00pm. Actually, I think this was the same night as graduation night in the "Never Land" post... I was just about to kick-back when Rich calls my phone and tells me I can come through; he got me on the guest list. I decided to come as "press". Which is a term I just learned how to start using.
See photographers, journalists and Videographers get alot of slide-throughs because the venue likes "press". Press is photo's and articles and video's about someone or something. The more press you have, the more "buzz" you have. The more buzz you have, the more business you get. Considering its good press.
But, I guess if you were the owner of a club, you'd expect to get some pretty bad press if you were turning journalists away from the door...So I guess its very kiss-assy relationship. And now that I think about it, I always see photographers just "there" sometimes. And journalists, who are probably the photographers, seem to just get to go wherever they want to. "Press" is an interesting hat to wear. People just seem to extend that handshake to you. You walk up to the door, flash a "all access" writstband or card at the bouncer and voile'!; In ya go yo.
I guess its inversely related; the more press (advertisement) you have, the more people you get in the doors to drink your drinks and eat your eats. Also, I guess you wouldnt want to war with someone who buys ink by the barrel... Because "City Pages" and "Vitamin!" are right down the street. And so are all the early-morning latte' drinkers.
Huh, look at me breaking down the city politics.
Woah... Got a little aimless there. Okay, Quality and I drive down to The Cause, Uptown and park in the Intermedia Arts parking lot. Walk up the street to The Cause and got lost... right in front of it. Found it and the bouncer asks to see my I.D and I panic a little bit.
"Im on the guest list I think..."
"I still have to see your I.D"
"Um... just a moment."
I put my camera down and walk to the side with Quality. Pull out my cellphone and I call Rich up because he's already inside. His boy Vincent (I think thats his name) said so.
"Yeah, he's gonna I.D you and then he should let you in."
"Oh ok"
....
The bouncer says he cant let me in though; Im under 21. Rich is like super apologetic after I call him and tell him what the bouncer had just told me. It was like 10:00 so he had like an hour before his performance was beginning. He came and sat with us and we "talked shop" (ooooh, learnin' some cool lingo are we?).
So those were the rules. "No minor's allowed". The city says so because the law says so. And civilians have to abide by the law. If that venue's gonna be servin' liquor, and liquor aint for those who are under 21 years of age, then that venue wont be having any civilians under 21 years of age at their establishment. Too bad.
Too bad there's another society of civilians unlike the 9 to 5 city folk. Theyre called "artist". They talk different, they walk different, they think different and they have their own rules. So thats how I found myself inside of The Cause an hour later performing on stage with Rich. I saw another door that I didnt see before. and some guy.... opens it for me and I sneak in.
I find a quiet place amongst all those "21-or-over-year-olds" and chill.
I felt bad leaving though. After Rich got up to perform we had a on-stage freestyle session. I dont feel I did very good (as usual). But whats really bothering me is that I feel: 1. that I was hogging the mic and 2. that I embarrassed a friend named Mammoth who was also freestyling with us.
I think its because Im not like the others. Other emcee's I mean. I wasnt trying to "hog the mic". When im freestyling (which is hard, mind you) im trying to "sound out a punch-line" and... ugh... this shit is probably getting boring, im gonna stop writing now.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Never Land
Didnt make graduation.
Went to HSRA today to meet with Renee, my science teacher about my final essays but she was too busy. It seems that I'll have to wait until September. which I have heard will actually be more advantageous to me than not. It just makes me feel a bit inadequate.
My attendance at school is pretty horrible. Mostly because of all my adventuring. I've fallen in love with the city. TSo somehow I find myself in arguement with a teacher at the school about a head scarf I just begun wearing a few days ago. Its a big green scarf that I made out of a silky looking blanket and it wraps around my head like a Hijaab.
So I find myself in a teachers office like some kind of child.
I didnt come to start any trouble. I just wanted to get my credits and get the fuck out of there because my artistic identity doesnt match up with my scholarly identity - meaning I should have my diploma by now. And mentally i fell like I do already... so "following school rules" is super-uncool.
The dudes telling me to take my scarf off. I tell him I cant, its apart of my culture.
"What culture?"
"I cant tell you."
I wasnt trying to be a smartass, but I was getting pissed off so I just was saying whatever to get him off my back.
Long story short the dude thinks im wearing the scarf now because Im a five percenter muslim and I cant show my hair to anyone. Im not a muslim and Im not hiding my hair. Look, i'll tell you. Im wearing this because of my celibacy/abstinance.
I... had my first musicians fling a month ago and I felt really sour about it. On my way home from the library downtown I ran into an old friend and she was so taken by my ideas and abilities that I guess she wanted to have sex with me because im a dope emcee. I woke up in the morning feeling wack but she seemed to be in good fucking spirits about the whole thing. Like thats the way things are SUPPOSED to be...
SO I decided to put this on because im ashamed of myself. And I know a little about Muslim women and how they cover their faces because well...the men are supposed to love them for more than just their looks. And let me tell you, those Somalian girls are really sexy. So I thought about it and I decided to cover my face for the same reasons.
I get up in the morning and I get dressed - i think we all do to some degree - in a way pertaining to how I want to attract people. And personally I think I attract what I like. But if im single because of what I have attracted - single and a bit lonely i'll admit - if i am single because of what I have attracted, and I've gotten dressed in dictation of what I want to attract, then I believe I cannot trust myself with my happiness. For look how I am alone. So I've decided to try and un-attract women and kill off all my sexual desires by wearing this scarf.
Thus, "I cant take this off", I keep tellin the guy. Now this guys like the principle of the school and he's a Freemason. He's telling me I have to listen to him because he's my administrator and thats just the way of the world. I mean... he's really letting me have it. Now, I dont know much about the Mason's but I do know they study both the Bible and the Quran so he's got some pretty dope knowledge, im sure. Plus he was in the Navy back in his day so he knows how the world works. So he's telling me that I have to compromise sometimes and thats just how it is...
I happen to be currently reading the Autobiography of Assata Shakur. Some of ya'll may have heard her name through the whole "CNN vs. Common" debacle because of that Poem he spit at the White House about a month ago. Assata is a Revolutionary; think Black Panther. She got fucked over for fighting what she believed in. Like im talkin... Police brutality and political corruption here.
Its inspiring though and It makes me reflect on how far I myself am willing to fight when all odds are against me.
I mean...this is small-scale shit - take off your scarf or you have to leave the school - But I felt at that moment like "I wonder what Assata Shakur would do?" and I decided to keep my scarf on because I believe in my philosophy. But... What if I get pulled over on the New Jersey Turnpike by the State troopers while in the car with 2 of my friends and their telling me we have to take our scarves off because we look like "terrorists"?
And then what if those troopers kill one of my friends and beat me and the other friend within a inch of our life? Will I take it off then?
What if they take me to the hospital and try to get me to talk and I refuse to talk without a lawyer present or some shit, and then they beat me while in the hospital? What if they bum-rush the case so my lawyer doesnt have time to prepare a solid defense and try me while im still in the hospital room like they did Assata? And then hold me in solitary confinement for who knows how long until the real trials begin like a month later? In a cell with centipedes and I have to use the restroom while somebody watches me?
I shudder a bit...
Well that shit kind of pissed me off so I went to the Pre-production room to finish up some beats and found out I didnt have the worse day at all. My good friend Nzinga is telling me about a friend of hers, a good guy - kinda looks like mos def - who tried to commit suicide. Cut his own neck, tried to kill himself. He's tells her that he's sick of chicks breakin his heart and then he just goes for it. Nzinga is all "why i gotta be the one he tell's?" but, m thinkin' empathetically with the dude; He's tryin' to kill himself cause he cant get anyone to love him.
In my phone, I have 6 contacts named "Illusion". They are girls who have broken my heart either partially or totally... 3 of those Illusions go to the school. And since HSRA is so small, I tend to cross paths with em occasionally. At a turn around a corner, or a walk into a room. Everytime I see one - and they see me seeing them but we pretend like the other doesnt exist - I die a little bit and then walk away.
I fell in love with these muthafucka's man... And then she or she comes to school with her make-up all made up and her perfume and her new hairstyles and I watch her. I watch her do to other dudes exactly what she did to me. She led me on and she lied to me.
But, Is heartbreak worth commiting suicide? Well... would you rather die or would you rather live feeling like you're dying? I tell ya, thats one of the main reasons I keep my eyes to myself when I'm on my daily commute. Looking at beautiful women; seductresses... Is hard for me after having been heartbroken a few times. And I think this scarf keeps them away anyway...
I dont know, maybe im just an escapist... Hiding in the city under HipHop's protective wing. And that whole, "this is the way of the world" thing, "no if's, and's, or but's" about it thing that teacher was talking about? He's probably right. Somehow I feel like HipHop is going to protect me though. Its corny, I dont know how many of you all seen the movie Peter Pan but, HipHop is kinda like Neverland, if you think about it.; You can kind of stay there and never have to grow up...
Went to HSRA today to meet with Renee, my science teacher about my final essays but she was too busy. It seems that I'll have to wait until September. which I have heard will actually be more advantageous to me than not. It just makes me feel a bit inadequate.
My attendance at school is pretty horrible. Mostly because of all my adventuring. I've fallen in love with the city. TSo somehow I find myself in arguement with a teacher at the school about a head scarf I just begun wearing a few days ago. Its a big green scarf that I made out of a silky looking blanket and it wraps around my head like a Hijaab.
So I find myself in a teachers office like some kind of child.
I didnt come to start any trouble. I just wanted to get my credits and get the fuck out of there because my artistic identity doesnt match up with my scholarly identity - meaning I should have my diploma by now. And mentally i fell like I do already... so "following school rules" is super-uncool.
The dudes telling me to take my scarf off. I tell him I cant, its apart of my culture.
"What culture?"
"I cant tell you."
I wasnt trying to be a smartass, but I was getting pissed off so I just was saying whatever to get him off my back.
Long story short the dude thinks im wearing the scarf now because Im a five percenter muslim and I cant show my hair to anyone. Im not a muslim and Im not hiding my hair. Look, i'll tell you. Im wearing this because of my celibacy/abstinance.
I... had my first musicians fling a month ago and I felt really sour about it. On my way home from the library downtown I ran into an old friend and she was so taken by my ideas and abilities that I guess she wanted to have sex with me because im a dope emcee. I woke up in the morning feeling wack but she seemed to be in good fucking spirits about the whole thing. Like thats the way things are SUPPOSED to be...
SO I decided to put this on because im ashamed of myself. And I know a little about Muslim women and how they cover their faces because well...the men are supposed to love them for more than just their looks. And let me tell you, those Somalian girls are really sexy. So I thought about it and I decided to cover my face for the same reasons.
I get up in the morning and I get dressed - i think we all do to some degree - in a way pertaining to how I want to attract people. And personally I think I attract what I like. But if im single because of what I have attracted - single and a bit lonely i'll admit - if i am single because of what I have attracted, and I've gotten dressed in dictation of what I want to attract, then I believe I cannot trust myself with my happiness. For look how I am alone. So I've decided to try and un-attract women and kill off all my sexual desires by wearing this scarf.
Thus, "I cant take this off", I keep tellin the guy. Now this guys like the principle of the school and he's a Freemason. He's telling me I have to listen to him because he's my administrator and thats just the way of the world. I mean... he's really letting me have it. Now, I dont know much about the Mason's but I do know they study both the Bible and the Quran so he's got some pretty dope knowledge, im sure. Plus he was in the Navy back in his day so he knows how the world works. So he's telling me that I have to compromise sometimes and thats just how it is...
I happen to be currently reading the Autobiography of Assata Shakur. Some of ya'll may have heard her name through the whole "CNN vs. Common" debacle because of that Poem he spit at the White House about a month ago. Assata is a Revolutionary; think Black Panther. She got fucked over for fighting what she believed in. Like im talkin... Police brutality and political corruption here.
Its inspiring though and It makes me reflect on how far I myself am willing to fight when all odds are against me.
I mean...this is small-scale shit - take off your scarf or you have to leave the school - But I felt at that moment like "I wonder what Assata Shakur would do?" and I decided to keep my scarf on because I believe in my philosophy. But... What if I get pulled over on the New Jersey Turnpike by the State troopers while in the car with 2 of my friends and their telling me we have to take our scarves off because we look like "terrorists"?
And then what if those troopers kill one of my friends and beat me and the other friend within a inch of our life? Will I take it off then?
What if they take me to the hospital and try to get me to talk and I refuse to talk without a lawyer present or some shit, and then they beat me while in the hospital? What if they bum-rush the case so my lawyer doesnt have time to prepare a solid defense and try me while im still in the hospital room like they did Assata? And then hold me in solitary confinement for who knows how long until the real trials begin like a month later? In a cell with centipedes and I have to use the restroom while somebody watches me?
I shudder a bit...
Well that shit kind of pissed me off so I went to the Pre-production room to finish up some beats and found out I didnt have the worse day at all. My good friend Nzinga is telling me about a friend of hers, a good guy - kinda looks like mos def - who tried to commit suicide. Cut his own neck, tried to kill himself. He's tells her that he's sick of chicks breakin his heart and then he just goes for it. Nzinga is all "why i gotta be the one he tell's?" but, m thinkin' empathetically with the dude; He's tryin' to kill himself cause he cant get anyone to love him.
In my phone, I have 6 contacts named "Illusion". They are girls who have broken my heart either partially or totally... 3 of those Illusions go to the school. And since HSRA is so small, I tend to cross paths with em occasionally. At a turn around a corner, or a walk into a room. Everytime I see one - and they see me seeing them but we pretend like the other doesnt exist - I die a little bit and then walk away.
I fell in love with these muthafucka's man... And then she or she comes to school with her make-up all made up and her perfume and her new hairstyles and I watch her. I watch her do to other dudes exactly what she did to me. She led me on and she lied to me.
But, Is heartbreak worth commiting suicide? Well... would you rather die or would you rather live feeling like you're dying? I tell ya, thats one of the main reasons I keep my eyes to myself when I'm on my daily commute. Looking at beautiful women; seductresses... Is hard for me after having been heartbroken a few times. And I think this scarf keeps them away anyway...
I dont know, maybe im just an escapist... Hiding in the city under HipHop's protective wing. And that whole, "this is the way of the world" thing, "no if's, and's, or but's" about it thing that teacher was talking about? He's probably right. Somehow I feel like HipHop is going to protect me though. Its corny, I dont know how many of you all seen the movie Peter Pan but, HipHop is kinda like Neverland, if you think about it.; You can kind of stay there and never have to grow up...
Monday, May 30, 2011
Soundset
I've been having so much fun that I forgot how sad I really am. Maybe I could take my anger out in some rap battles...Go on Grindtime and become a battle emcee...
Up until Soundset I was able to keep my two war's seperate: I mean my war with Hiphop (finding myself) and my war with love (finding my soulmate) but, at Soundset, both were everywhere... I find myself ghosting around the festival ..
I try my best to keep these two things seperate. I guess I wanted to pretend love and Hiphop were unrelated. I even make sure to write about my pathetic love life in a secret book somewhere nobody can find; Its collecting dust from never having anything to write in it anymore.
In both my musical ambitions and romantic I feel somehow incomplete. And Hiphop helps me to pretend my heart doesnt exist.
It keeps me occupied with different community projects and friends and drowns out my hearts thoughts. Soundset woke me from my trance though.. Must have been the incredibly large soundwaves blasting through my body.
Im sitting here at the entrance kind of and I just remembered that I dont like my life for the first time in a while.. I think I had fun here but really all I did was look at chicks that I dont yet have the self-confidence to approach pass me by. Looking at good-looking couples a bit enviously, hiding my defeat behind my fake glasses and pokerface...
People are walking past me right now, almost 20,000 of them.
I dont feel like im here.
De La Soul is performing down there but I walked over here for some reason. Didnt even have any paper to write this on. Im texting this shit to myself so I can type it later...
Its not like im here alone. I came with two friends and met up with 5 more a little after we arrived. Bumped into 15 more friends I'd met on my adventures in the city.. Took pictures with Alicia Steele and Desdamona...
There is no one here for me to fall in love with. Which I must admit is one of my main motivations for living... Or maybe this madness is the final one I need to free my mind of: The want of love. Love is only necessary to those who depend on it to survive. Transcend this and I'll surely be able to see the bigger scheme of things..
But the only way I know how to address this further is to become more O.D... which is happening by the minute...
Huh... its starting to rain...my phone is dying.
You must think im a coward. And I cant talk to women so I just build my reputation until "it" speaks for me. I wonder how strange this sounds to read? Well thats how I feel... you know?
I probably sound crazy but I dont care. I'll die a rapper. Alicia, Desdamona, Mally, Analyrical, the guys at Fifth Element all recognized me and that felt damn good. So... I accept whatever fate comes with my destiny.
My skills, my friends, and the city. If these things lead to my demise then so be it. Because I dont know where im going... And I dont have the answer but, I think maybe if I keep rapping maybe i'll get it.
Up until Soundset I was able to keep my two war's seperate: I mean my war with Hiphop (finding myself) and my war with love (finding my soulmate) but, at Soundset, both were everywhere... I find myself ghosting around the festival ..
I try my best to keep these two things seperate. I guess I wanted to pretend love and Hiphop were unrelated. I even make sure to write about my pathetic love life in a secret book somewhere nobody can find; Its collecting dust from never having anything to write in it anymore.
In both my musical ambitions and romantic I feel somehow incomplete. And Hiphop helps me to pretend my heart doesnt exist.
It keeps me occupied with different community projects and friends and drowns out my hearts thoughts. Soundset woke me from my trance though.. Must have been the incredibly large soundwaves blasting through my body.
Im sitting here at the entrance kind of and I just remembered that I dont like my life for the first time in a while.. I think I had fun here but really all I did was look at chicks that I dont yet have the self-confidence to approach pass me by. Looking at good-looking couples a bit enviously, hiding my defeat behind my fake glasses and pokerface...
People are walking past me right now, almost 20,000 of them.
I dont feel like im here.
De La Soul is performing down there but I walked over here for some reason. Didnt even have any paper to write this on. Im texting this shit to myself so I can type it later...Its not like im here alone. I came with two friends and met up with 5 more a little after we arrived. Bumped into 15 more friends I'd met on my adventures in the city.. Took pictures with Alicia Steele and Desdamona...
There is no one here for me to fall in love with. Which I must admit is one of my main motivations for living... Or maybe this madness is the final one I need to free my mind of: The want of love. Love is only necessary to those who depend on it to survive. Transcend this and I'll surely be able to see the bigger scheme of things..
But the only way I know how to address this further is to become more O.D... which is happening by the minute...
Huh... its starting to rain...my phone is dying.
You must think im a coward. And I cant talk to women so I just build my reputation until "it" speaks for me. I wonder how strange this sounds to read? Well thats how I feel... you know?
I probably sound crazy but I dont care. I'll die a rapper. Alicia, Desdamona, Mally, Analyrical, the guys at Fifth Element all recognized me and that felt damn good. So... I accept whatever fate comes with my destiny.
My skills, my friends, and the city. If these things lead to my demise then so be it. Because I dont know where im going... And I dont have the answer but, I think maybe if I keep rapping maybe i'll get it.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Thats Too HipHop
Im not sure where to start. I've been working with ICanU for the past 3 weeks. ICanU is a bit of an experimental teaching program born of Alan "Sparky" Starks who I met through the school. He called me in to help him teach and it just so happens he and some other students from Studio 4 have been teaching students songwriting and beatmaking. His philosophy (Sparky) is teaching students through what they are already good at and setting up a comfortable learning environment for them to relax in.
I guess he'd heard about the Hip Hop Workshops and things i've taught at Studio 4 for the past year and a half and decided to add me to the team.Turns out these students are children of Hip Hop but I dont feel like he wants to acknowledge it... We had a bit of a debate on whether or not teaching "my Hip Hop", as he put it, would be advantageous or not. Of course, he, a classic studio musician and instrumentalist of over 20 years, having worked with such people as Stevie Wonder and the like, found it easy to say "Lets water it down so that it can be easily digested by students who arent familiar with you know... your style of Hip Hop".
Now cut to yesterday for a second and then we'll cut back to my analysis on this comment...
So me and Quality, who also is working with me at ICanU, went to DJ (well he's the DJ...) at one of the schools we teach at called Edgewood learning center over in Brooklyn Center kind of. We set up the turntables, mixer board, 4 foot speakers (I think the proper term is "monitors") and camera stuff. We have a playlist or two of the things these students wanted to listen to. Mind you, there is a section of students in the school that are autistic.
Its 12:30pm and we're there to entertain for 2 hours. The playlist we'd been given had some oldschool stuff (given by the teachers of the autistic students) like "the twist", "we are family" type joints... Another half of the playlist was pop stuff like Beyonce "Girls rule the world" or... Lil Jon (who I like) "Snap Ya Fingaz" type stuff. On the table are some of our own CD's that we usually have playing in the car or whatever like J-Dilla, Flying Lotus, Nicolay, Foreign Exchange and the like. Everytime I pop one of those CD's in, Quality would pop it out.
He says that "Djing is not about what you want to hear (the DJ), its about what the crowd wants to hear." I nod in agreement and leave him to his thing. We happen to be running out of songs to spin and Quality is trying to compensate by downloading off the internet in the meantime.
"Yo just put that Dilla Joint in"
"Nah, thats too HipHop".
Never thought i'd hear him say that. But he might have been joking. And i wasnt trying to impose, it really was his gig after all, not mine. He's just tyring to keep the crowd pleased at this point. Playing the pop songs that they want to dance to; compromise. Appropriate but... at that point... I wonder what Dilla would do?
I still dont know what to make of the sparky comment though. Quality says we shouldnt burn the bridge but I say fuck it. Because I filmed some 93.X concert for this guy and he gets a little wierd on me when he wanted the footage. I respected him more 3 weeks ago but now he's gotten too fresh with me. I cant prove it right now but Im slowly realizing that im not going to like working under this musician. Im obviously "Too HipHop"...
Its almost like telling someone that they are too "Black" or too "Asian"... Or telling a white dude he cant be a rapper because he's "too White". Fuck off...
I guess he'd heard about the Hip Hop Workshops and things i've taught at Studio 4 for the past year and a half and decided to add me to the team.Turns out these students are children of Hip Hop but I dont feel like he wants to acknowledge it... We had a bit of a debate on whether or not teaching "my Hip Hop", as he put it, would be advantageous or not. Of course, he, a classic studio musician and instrumentalist of over 20 years, having worked with such people as Stevie Wonder and the like, found it easy to say "Lets water it down so that it can be easily digested by students who arent familiar with you know... your style of Hip Hop".
Now cut to yesterday for a second and then we'll cut back to my analysis on this comment...
So me and Quality, who also is working with me at ICanU, went to DJ (well he's the DJ...) at one of the schools we teach at called Edgewood learning center over in Brooklyn Center kind of. We set up the turntables, mixer board, 4 foot speakers (I think the proper term is "monitors") and camera stuff. We have a playlist or two of the things these students wanted to listen to. Mind you, there is a section of students in the school that are autistic.
Its 12:30pm and we're there to entertain for 2 hours. The playlist we'd been given had some oldschool stuff (given by the teachers of the autistic students) like "the twist", "we are family" type joints... Another half of the playlist was pop stuff like Beyonce "Girls rule the world" or... Lil Jon (who I like) "Snap Ya Fingaz" type stuff. On the table are some of our own CD's that we usually have playing in the car or whatever like J-Dilla, Flying Lotus, Nicolay, Foreign Exchange and the like. Everytime I pop one of those CD's in, Quality would pop it out.
He says that "Djing is not about what you want to hear (the DJ), its about what the crowd wants to hear." I nod in agreement and leave him to his thing. We happen to be running out of songs to spin and Quality is trying to compensate by downloading off the internet in the meantime.
"Yo just put that Dilla Joint in"
"Nah, thats too HipHop".
Never thought i'd hear him say that. But he might have been joking. And i wasnt trying to impose, it really was his gig after all, not mine. He's just tyring to keep the crowd pleased at this point. Playing the pop songs that they want to dance to; compromise. Appropriate but... at that point... I wonder what Dilla would do?
I still dont know what to make of the sparky comment though. Quality says we shouldnt burn the bridge but I say fuck it. Because I filmed some 93.X concert for this guy and he gets a little wierd on me when he wanted the footage. I respected him more 3 weeks ago but now he's gotten too fresh with me. I cant prove it right now but Im slowly realizing that im not going to like working under this musician. Im obviously "Too HipHop"...
Its almost like telling someone that they are too "Black" or too "Asian"... Or telling a white dude he cant be a rapper because he's "too White". Fuck off...
Friday, May 27, 2011
The Blue Nile - Charm of the Third Kind
So its 3:00pm. Me and Quality (bad grammar) are driving on 94-west toward Minneapolis on our way to meet an old friend of mine named Shawnee. For some reason though... Shawnee would rather be called Montell...So I do. Quality and me (bad grammar again) are coming from this Highschool in Osseo. We were teaching a Radio and Television class by way of this program called ICanU created by a man named Alan "Sparky" Starks but, im not gonna get into that right now because I have an opinion about all of that which would throw me way off mark.
We get to the library and meet Montell in a quiet spot around 4:00... And I have a meeting with Susan at 5:30.
Introducing the two of those guys was really cool. We talked music, life, ambitions, soul food and the like up until about 5:30 and met up with Susan who was coming out of Uptown traffic. She told me about some possible job/career leads and stuff as the four of us sat down at the Pizza diner across the street from Fifth Element. an hour later, we found ourselves at Intermedia Arts listening to this poetry show thrown by Guante. Which made me feel pretty angry because of the Video I'm currently editing for The Canvas got messed up and I have to start all over... Guess I just have to have faith in my strategic mind.
Well its late... We find ourselves just outside Intermedia arts after being pretty blown away by the performances and trying to figure out how to proceed with the rest of the night. Montell, Quality and me are trying to figure out if we can get to the Blue Nile by 9:30 - when its already 9:11 - In time for me to sign up if we have Susan drop us off downtown at Johns car. She tells us we probably wont make it unless she drops us off at the Blue Nile directly.
As we are riding there, Me in the passenger seat and my entourage in the backseats im just thinking about not thinking about anything... I want to test my theory to blow away the Blue Nile tonight. Well...at least do better than the last time...
The plan was to just kind of...become one with the Blue Nile in a way. Kind of... Surrender to the energy and...let things do as they please... So we head to the gas station (Holiday) to get some (inexpensive) drinks:
Me:This is Quality
Cashier girl: LOL
Me: He's a producer
Cashier: Oh really? what kind of music do you make?
Quality: Wel...
Me: We're about to perform at the Blue Nile across the street
Cashir: oh nice! Are you guys performing together?
Me: Nah. This is Montell And I go by O.D and this Quality, and your Cindy, and together we're The Fucking Awesome's.
Cashier Girl Cindy: *Laughs
Montell: Wow...
Quality: *Turns red
Me: Well we'e gonna head back now.
Cashier Girl Cindy: How long are you guys gonna be around here?
Me: Oh I dont know...A while.
Cashier Girl Cindy: huh?
Me: We'll be back.
Cashier Girl Cindy: Ok.
I hate waiting to perform. Its sometimes a little nerve-wrecking watching the acts before you. Quality and Montell chillin in the back while I kind of pace around in and out of crowds waiting for Desdamona to arrive with the sign up sheet. I stopped and talked with Desdamona a little bit when she came over and asked her a little about "Giant Steps"which Susan was telling me about earlier. Desdamona happens to be apart of Giant Steps. Well anyway:
"#14 __ O.D"
Since My performance wasnt for about an hour down the list, on account of each performance is at least 4-5 minutes (multiplied by 13 performers before me) we decide to hop on the lightrail and travel into the city to get Quality's Car. As we're leaving Desdamona stops me with two soundset tickets in hand.
"Here you guys go."
"Woah.."
"Just make sure you guys come!"
"Hell yeah!"
"Im serious, if you dont come im gonna hunt you down. You better be there, I dont care if you have to hitchhike."
"Im sure we'll be able to ride with Susan or something."
Everyone laughs.
"You guys better be there, Im gonna be looking for you!"
"I'll be looking for you."
"Ah man... thank you so much Des... I'd could hug you right now yo...man..."
We get to the library and meet Montell in a quiet spot around 4:00... And I have a meeting with Susan at 5:30.
Introducing the two of those guys was really cool. We talked music, life, ambitions, soul food and the like up until about 5:30 and met up with Susan who was coming out of Uptown traffic. She told me about some possible job/career leads and stuff as the four of us sat down at the Pizza diner across the street from Fifth Element. an hour later, we found ourselves at Intermedia Arts listening to this poetry show thrown by Guante. Which made me feel pretty angry because of the Video I'm currently editing for The Canvas got messed up and I have to start all over... Guess I just have to have faith in my strategic mind.
Well its late... We find ourselves just outside Intermedia arts after being pretty blown away by the performances and trying to figure out how to proceed with the rest of the night. Montell, Quality and me are trying to figure out if we can get to the Blue Nile by 9:30 - when its already 9:11 - In time for me to sign up if we have Susan drop us off downtown at Johns car. She tells us we probably wont make it unless she drops us off at the Blue Nile directly.
As we are riding there, Me in the passenger seat and my entourage in the backseats im just thinking about not thinking about anything... I want to test my theory to blow away the Blue Nile tonight. Well...at least do better than the last time...
The plan was to just kind of...become one with the Blue Nile in a way. Kind of... Surrender to the energy and...let things do as they please... So we head to the gas station (Holiday) to get some (inexpensive) drinks:
Me:This is Quality
Cashier girl: LOL
Me: He's a producer
Cashier: Oh really? what kind of music do you make?
Quality: Wel...
Me: We're about to perform at the Blue Nile across the street
Cashir: oh nice! Are you guys performing together?
Me: Nah. This is Montell And I go by O.D and this Quality, and your Cindy, and together we're The Fucking Awesome's.
Cashier Girl Cindy: *Laughs
Montell: Wow...
Quality: *Turns red
Me: Well we'e gonna head back now.
Cashier Girl Cindy: How long are you guys gonna be around here?
Me: Oh I dont know...A while.
Cashier Girl Cindy: huh?
Me: We'll be back.
Cashier Girl Cindy: Ok.
I hate waiting to perform. Its sometimes a little nerve-wrecking watching the acts before you. Quality and Montell chillin in the back while I kind of pace around in and out of crowds waiting for Desdamona to arrive with the sign up sheet. I stopped and talked with Desdamona a little bit when she came over and asked her a little about "Giant Steps"which Susan was telling me about earlier. Desdamona happens to be apart of Giant Steps. Well anyway:
"#14 __ O.D"
Since My performance wasnt for about an hour down the list, on account of each performance is at least 4-5 minutes (multiplied by 13 performers before me) we decide to hop on the lightrail and travel into the city to get Quality's Car. As we're leaving Desdamona stops me with two soundset tickets in hand.
"Here you guys go."
"Woah.."
"Just make sure you guys come!"
"Hell yeah!"
"Im serious, if you dont come im gonna hunt you down. You better be there, I dont care if you have to hitchhike."
"Im sure we'll be able to ride with Susan or something."
Everyone laughs.
"You guys better be there, Im gonna be looking for you!"
"I'll be looking for you."
"Ah man... thank you so much Des... I'd could hug you right now yo...man..."
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
They'll Challenge You
My Highschool graduation is around the corner. June 16th. But im sure my deadline is like... June 7th or something. Im just trying to keep that in mind. My tunnel vision is on December when the U of M starts registration though.
Its strange though, I am already graduated in my mind... My maturity and understanding of the world around me isnt what it was when I first started at HSRA. Having said that, My teacher is pissing me the fuck off. Trying to get me to take a test to get the school their numbers.
I dont know much about the school's darkside, but I can sense that when I denied to take the test that I was write to suspect that something fishy was going on. I dont want to know what it is, I just want to finish my credits and validations so I dont have to worry about this anymore.
Focus
Its strange though, I am already graduated in my mind... My maturity and understanding of the world around me isnt what it was when I first started at HSRA. Having said that, My teacher is pissing me the fuck off. Trying to get me to take a test to get the school their numbers.
I dont know much about the school's darkside, but I can sense that when I denied to take the test that I was write to suspect that something fishy was going on. I dont want to know what it is, I just want to finish my credits and validations so I dont have to worry about this anymore.
Focus
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Fusing Demetrius and O.D
Aso... The point emerges.
Registration for the U of M is in December
That gives me some time to make some music (the beat assassin project)
Im about to graduate from High school in June. I'll have the whole summer.
I can get recording done in a few places now. I've made some friends.
I'll get a part-time job and save up some money for my life on a college campus.
My biggest fear was always having to cut my hair.
But this'll give me a reason to keep my hair twisted up so I can grow my afro out for the next 6 or 7 months.
My time will be divided into 3 things: school, music, money.
It was silly of me to only depend on my art to make money. I am also quite intelligent and that is worth money as well. So I need not limit myself to just music...
Not that everything revolves around money.
But money will help me to eat. Or, take someone to the movies when I want to go. Or, give someone some gas money when they take me somewhere. Or, tip my barber when she does a good job. So lets shoot for a part-time job in June.
I have access to different tools already for free. I have loving friends and shouldnt be so paranoid that my destiny will be ruined by a part-time job. I dont know who or what planted that idea in my mind. But, nobody is gonna take my artistic integrity or personality from me.
I will always be who I want to be. Getting a part-time job is a "part-time" thing. And its not like I cant write rhymes at work.
Its not like I need 24 hours a day to make a song... I spend most of my time doin chill-stuff anyway. Plus, when I get off of work, I'll have some money to throw little get-togethers for my friends that we can make music at..
So when I get to december I will be in a new world; college. New people, and more of em'. which means new experiences more frequently.
Which will be an energy I can channel into my musical evolutions...
I should be able to afford my own place As a college student by this time. With money saved up.
I should have a decent name around the city by this time. With honorable accomplishments. I believe in a Organic lifestyle, just as I believe in organic music; music with the ability to grow and evolve. HipHop, for one thing, is my soul food. If I do not eat enough of it per month... I will die of starvation... fall back into my bluesy melancholy. I would live on my music alone if I could (and I probably could), away from the world in a way but the thing is... The world exists... And I exist within it.
There's nothing wrong with being a human...There should be a lifestyle though, that will allow me to feed both my physical and spiritual appetites. The only way to see it though is to fuse myself with myself... Im fighting myself too much. I think that if I work with myself I will reach the level I am trying to get to this year.
I think most (aspiring) artists have a paranoia and phobia of a 9-5... I am coming to the realization that we are quite child-like, stubborn and irresponsible at times. And that our fear comes from us being control freaks. But if that is true then that means our sense of control was made out of fear. And fear is weakness. And I do not want to "Control" my fear... I want to kill it. Taking pride in a sense of control (no matter how creatively put) made from our fears is cancer. We'll limit our oppurtunities and tools that will be advantageous to our ultimate goals.
Our natural stubborn attitude will make us put ourselves in unessecary stresses that can be easily avoided if we would only open our minds to the fact that we can use part-time jobs to our advantage. Think about it... If you dont like the damn job, you could just quit it and do all the stuff you were going to do anyway... But with less money. Which is possible sure, because the artists circle is quite crafty and loyal; friends would see that you are not unhappy and off-path.
This brings me back to a scene in one of my favorite anime's (more bad grammar) "Samurai Champloo" that led to my experience of Japanese Super-Producer "Nujabes" music. Nujabes who died unfortunately, not too long ago, was a big influence on me in 2008.
Well, the scene is in one of the very last episodes when a counselor of the Shogunate has arrived to deliver orders to this master swordsman to assasinate a wanted revolutionary and his daughter "fuu", who is one of the main characters. The master swordsman is in his garden attending to his many plants on a sunny afternoon... The Shogunates counselor enters the scene abruptly:
"Kareya.."
"My, what a suprise. To what occasion do I owe the honor, counselor?"
"Do you really need for me to spell out the reason for my visit today?"
"Not at all, I have a pretty good idea."
"We are in a race against time right now. I only know a little bit but I have heard that the felon from the Ryukyu's and the ronin from the Mujushin-dojo are both incredibly gifted swordsmen and should not be treated lightly."
"I have heard that as well"...
And this is funny to hear him say, the master samurai, because he's never been seen in the whole 23 episodes prior to this one... So it insists he's been like this monster waiting to be summoned... But the whole scene he talks with this salty, peaceful voice and keeps this buddha-like face. Sorry if this is too corny by the way; me equating myself to a samurai. But there is a point to this.
So where were we?:
"There is one more thing you should know: I have heard that they are about to make contact with Seizo Kasumi (the revolutionary) any day now. If they manage to meet up with him before we finish rounding up the stragglers from the Shimabara rebellion, it will make things very complicated."
"Counselor, since you made the trip.. do me a favor.. Allow me to show you some of the flowers in my garden.."
"... There is no time for that. Understand?"
"Are you aware of the proper method one should utilize to eliminate weeds?"
"Hm?"
"You see.. weeds, when left unchecked, will rob the flower of its proper nutrients. So what do you do? If you uproot the weed then you disturb the flower. Its roots and soil do not like to be interfered with."
"So, what do you do?"
"You learn to plant flowers that utilize the weeds as a form of nourishment. Take a look, this flower is an example of a beautiful exterior hiding its true intentions. Intentions that are really quite brutal."
Which goes to prove my point of using a part-time job to my advantage...
For the next 4 months, my time will be devoted to my part-time job and my music. The 4 months after that will be the same, except I will have acquired at least $2600 - $3000 and finished 3 Beat Assassin projects. Performed at least 8 shows and also had some involvement with some unforeseen community projects and events. This will be September. In december, Which will be four months later I should have at least doubled my accomplishments. Almost $6000 saved up (minus some expensive dates or unworthy impulse shopping) and almost 20 shows and open mics.
Well, when school starts for me in January, I'll quit that job so that I do not have to compromise the time that I use for music. The time I spent at work will be replaced with time spent studying. At that point, My time will be devoted to my studies and my music and probably some unforeseen community involvment or experience.
Registration for the U of M is in December
That gives me some time to make some music (the beat assassin project)
Im about to graduate from High school in June. I'll have the whole summer.
I can get recording done in a few places now. I've made some friends.
I'll get a part-time job and save up some money for my life on a college campus.
My biggest fear was always having to cut my hair.
But this'll give me a reason to keep my hair twisted up so I can grow my afro out for the next 6 or 7 months.
My time will be divided into 3 things: school, music, money.
It was silly of me to only depend on my art to make money. I am also quite intelligent and that is worth money as well. So I need not limit myself to just music...
Not that everything revolves around money.
But money will help me to eat. Or, take someone to the movies when I want to go. Or, give someone some gas money when they take me somewhere. Or, tip my barber when she does a good job. So lets shoot for a part-time job in June.
I have access to different tools already for free. I have loving friends and shouldnt be so paranoid that my destiny will be ruined by a part-time job. I dont know who or what planted that idea in my mind. But, nobody is gonna take my artistic integrity or personality from me.
I will always be who I want to be. Getting a part-time job is a "part-time" thing. And its not like I cant write rhymes at work.
Its not like I need 24 hours a day to make a song... I spend most of my time doin chill-stuff anyway. Plus, when I get off of work, I'll have some money to throw little get-togethers for my friends that we can make music at..
So when I get to december I will be in a new world; college. New people, and more of em'. which means new experiences more frequently.
Which will be an energy I can channel into my musical evolutions...
I should be able to afford my own place As a college student by this time. With money saved up.
I should have a decent name around the city by this time. With honorable accomplishments. I believe in a Organic lifestyle, just as I believe in organic music; music with the ability to grow and evolve. HipHop, for one thing, is my soul food. If I do not eat enough of it per month... I will die of starvation... fall back into my bluesy melancholy. I would live on my music alone if I could (and I probably could), away from the world in a way but the thing is... The world exists... And I exist within it.
There's nothing wrong with being a human...There should be a lifestyle though, that will allow me to feed both my physical and spiritual appetites. The only way to see it though is to fuse myself with myself... Im fighting myself too much. I think that if I work with myself I will reach the level I am trying to get to this year.
I think most (aspiring) artists have a paranoia and phobia of a 9-5... I am coming to the realization that we are quite child-like, stubborn and irresponsible at times. And that our fear comes from us being control freaks. But if that is true then that means our sense of control was made out of fear. And fear is weakness. And I do not want to "Control" my fear... I want to kill it. Taking pride in a sense of control (no matter how creatively put) made from our fears is cancer. We'll limit our oppurtunities and tools that will be advantageous to our ultimate goals.
Our natural stubborn attitude will make us put ourselves in unessecary stresses that can be easily avoided if we would only open our minds to the fact that we can use part-time jobs to our advantage. Think about it... If you dont like the damn job, you could just quit it and do all the stuff you were going to do anyway... But with less money. Which is possible sure, because the artists circle is quite crafty and loyal; friends would see that you are not unhappy and off-path.
This brings me back to a scene in one of my favorite anime's (more bad grammar) "Samurai Champloo" that led to my experience of Japanese Super-Producer "Nujabes" music. Nujabes who died unfortunately, not too long ago, was a big influence on me in 2008.
Well, the scene is in one of the very last episodes when a counselor of the Shogunate has arrived to deliver orders to this master swordsman to assasinate a wanted revolutionary and his daughter "fuu", who is one of the main characters. The master swordsman is in his garden attending to his many plants on a sunny afternoon... The Shogunates counselor enters the scene abruptly:
"Kareya.."
"My, what a suprise. To what occasion do I owe the honor, counselor?"
"Do you really need for me to spell out the reason for my visit today?"
"Not at all, I have a pretty good idea."
"We are in a race against time right now. I only know a little bit but I have heard that the felon from the Ryukyu's and the ronin from the Mujushin-dojo are both incredibly gifted swordsmen and should not be treated lightly."
"I have heard that as well"...
And this is funny to hear him say, the master samurai, because he's never been seen in the whole 23 episodes prior to this one... So it insists he's been like this monster waiting to be summoned... But the whole scene he talks with this salty, peaceful voice and keeps this buddha-like face. Sorry if this is too corny by the way; me equating myself to a samurai. But there is a point to this.
So where were we?:
"There is one more thing you should know: I have heard that they are about to make contact with Seizo Kasumi (the revolutionary) any day now. If they manage to meet up with him before we finish rounding up the stragglers from the Shimabara rebellion, it will make things very complicated."
"Counselor, since you made the trip.. do me a favor.. Allow me to show you some of the flowers in my garden.."
"... There is no time for that. Understand?"
"Are you aware of the proper method one should utilize to eliminate weeds?"
"Hm?"
"You see.. weeds, when left unchecked, will rob the flower of its proper nutrients. So what do you do? If you uproot the weed then you disturb the flower. Its roots and soil do not like to be interfered with."
"So, what do you do?"
"You learn to plant flowers that utilize the weeds as a form of nourishment. Take a look, this flower is an example of a beautiful exterior hiding its true intentions. Intentions that are really quite brutal."
Which goes to prove my point of using a part-time job to my advantage...
For the next 4 months, my time will be devoted to my part-time job and my music. The 4 months after that will be the same, except I will have acquired at least $2600 - $3000 and finished 3 Beat Assassin projects. Performed at least 8 shows and also had some involvement with some unforeseen community projects and events. This will be September. In december, Which will be four months later I should have at least doubled my accomplishments. Almost $6000 saved up (minus some expensive dates or unworthy impulse shopping) and almost 20 shows and open mics.
Well, when school starts for me in January, I'll quit that job so that I do not have to compromise the time that I use for music. The time I spent at work will be replaced with time spent studying. At that point, My time will be devoted to my studies and my music and probably some unforeseen community involvment or experience.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Scatterbrain - Gotta Make Some Money Man...
I gotta start making some moves yo!
I mean.. everything is okay right now but... If I suddenly became homeless what would I do?
Say my dad kicks me out for some reason, because I “am” 20 now, he COULD just put me the fuck out... Its May 17th, Im scheduled for Graduation in June... So... like... 4 weeks left of Highschool. So my dad puts me out. Phone gets turned off...
Hold Hold Hold on...
If I wanted to make a living off my art... On some sword for Hire shit... Lets see... Wake up in the morning. 6:00am... Meditations and Shower and exercise and stuff as usal. Breakfast and feed the cats.. Ok... then... Clean up the house. Ok...
Networking:
Yahoo... G-mail... Then music sharing stuff/blog, Twitter... Facebook... Well how about like.. I Get like Reverbnation, Soundcloud, ...and one more music thingy to post on. So Do that for an hour at 8:00... Look for shows to attack in different ways: Photography (For Artists Profiles, like 30$ bucks a pic), Cinematography (for the venue... like $70 bucks a vid) , Graphic Design (flyers, $20 bucks a promo)... And my own shows as well: getting paid like $40 bucks a gig. But also like, contests, Programs, community organizing/organization stuff.
Um....
Photography ($90 a month), Cinematography ($290 a month), Graphic Design (hmm...), Performances ($200 a month) = $480. Most rent is gonna be at least $500 bucks though so... I'll be broke. Damnit...
Well I'm still at my dad's place for like... a couple more months, or I could move in with my brother or something... for the purpose of saving up like $3200 bucks... which is 8 months... And THEN getting my own place... but I still wont be able to beat the curve... eventually that $3200 dollars will be eaten up by electricity, phone, internet, food etc.... Therefore... I need to find a part time gig. Like Guante, working at the Canvas.
If minimum wage is like, $7.20 an hour... 8 hours a week... 7 days a week (if possible)... thats rounded to like $400 bucks a week... like $1200 - $1600 a month? Fuck... I dont want to work a A Mickey d's joint... or a K-mart... Eww...
Coffee Spot, Rec Center, School?
Need a Job... But I want ample time to live too!...
Maybe there's like some kind of paying internship at a radio station like KMOJ or some kind of Video or Graphic Design spot around the cities? Come on Demetrius think! Think... think...
think...
...okay...
Voices Merging... I Can U... Studio 4... Film School thing that susan and Phil we're talking about last month... um... um... um... um... uh.... Odd jobs... uh... fuck... uh... Come on demetrius... Maybe I should just try the part time job for now. But Im not cutting my hair... FUCK! I have a problem with authority... Especially bullies... Come on...
Maybe... Just some kind of department store like Family Dollar or Walgreens... Man im gonna get fired. Because If A show comes up that I have to go to... Im gonna go to it!
Alright calm down... Beats... Sell beats... naw...
I Have friends... Make a... Make a team... a band... a collaborative. Shit... we'll have to split the money equally... Fuck... how do we beat the curve?
um... okay... I see... an Apartment. There's 3 of us... 4 of us... We're a band... 3 Bedrooms... Thats probably like $800-$900 bucks depending on the place right? Plus an extra $400 for food and electric stuff and heat in the winter stuff so $1300-1400 bucks a month.... Tops.
The emcee (Thats me). He rocks the mic and networks emcee's, producers, promoters.... The Rap Contests and stuff. How does he make money? …..
….
We'll get back to that.
Okay, The Producer. He's a DJ. So Weddings, Clubs, community events. He compete's at beat battles and makes beats for Rappers, Singers, and other people that the Emcee brings in. Maybe even like... TV Shows and stuff. So his gig is like DJ's and makin beats and soundtracks.
So next we have the model/singer chick. She's like the communications person. She works with the emcee to Network both offline (at events) and online (facebook, twitter etc.) by seeing if people want flyers, photoshoots, videoshoots, or performances at their places. And of course she does like... Photography (maybe) and Her own Modeling stuff.
The last cat is the... I was gonna say musician but... Any of us could learn some instruments and I already play the Piano so...thats nothing special... Should the fourth cat be like the Part-time job keeper? Should he even exist at all? Could just be the three of us...
AAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!
I wish I had an expert to tell me my/our options and what to do from here...
Saturday, May 14, 2011
A Bitter taste of TC
This is a text conversation I had with local poet Sol. Bad grammar and all. But, im going to write it from end to beginning:
"what I'm being honest did you talk to her about writing a song already?"
Which was a reply to: "Goodnight sol"
which I wrote as a conclusion to the conversation when she writes: "oh ok um she's really busy tho her and kristy are starting a progea for youth and you don't have much money to pay her to feat."
Because I said: "oh ive been wanting to contact her because we met last monday at that Voices Merging Banquet. But my computer is down so I cant access the matrix."
Which I wrote in response to: " Um how that sounds like a question for her"
She says, because I asked: I have a song I want to write with her. Can you help me?"
Which is true. I had been writing the song earlier today. So I was ecstatic to her saying: yea dats my girl! she also did yo da movement and she's a dope community organizer."
And all I did was ask her: "have you met a vocalist named Alicia Steele?"
This motherfucker passive-aggressively just told me that I was too broke and not worth the time to make a song with this Alicia Steele.. Really?
I probably shoudlnt let it register on an emotional level though, because Sol doesnt have the best credibility with me, let alone other local artists I've talked to.
I was hesitant to write the entry in this way because I realized its now read regularly by people in the cities, so I've been writing up to this point with that in mind. But, that only made me bite my tongue and stopped me from writing how "I" like to write.. But we're here now aint we?
Some people may know Sol as a local poet/activist or whatever but to me, she's... just my ex-girlfriend. We dated a couple summers ago; Broke up. I broke up with her. She was just full of poetic, well-spoken shit to me. And it stunk like a rec-center full of rotting, decomposed heart cavities [In my spoken-word voice].
Are all poets like this? Was she just being honest? Because I sense malice in her for-your-information responses.. I also noticed though, that there is a bit of rivalry between poets and emcee's out here. Yeah, poets vs. emcees. Can you believe that shit?
I noticed it once when I went to this Open Mic at Artist Quarter in St. Paul. It was all spoken-word performances... And Guante, both a poet and emcee, told me later that night that venues like this usually frown upon emcee's that get on their stages and spit bars. So I wonder if her tone lacked respect because Im this "lowly" emcee trying to write a song with her vocalist associate...? Or an envious ex-girlfriend? A little taken aback that her ex-boyfriend that she couldnt get back with, is asking her about another woman?
Things like this always make me wonder what romance is like in the local music scene? One artist meeting another and dating him/her? Is it the same as your typical highschool sweetheart romance or meeting a person at a club on sheer chemistry? Is it strict or awkward? Like meeting a pretty woman at the office and asking her to dinner? Is it cute? Like finding your soulmate in college and studying together? Or is the Artist/Musicians romance different from all these?
Is it cruel and unusual? I wonder if people like these just fuck whoever they want whenever they want without concience... Get married and divorce four months later like in hollywood. Are these the kind of people passive-aggressively jumping from heart to the next preaching poetic-psychobabble to justfy hurt feelings? Or is this love very sunny and wonderful...? I'll probably find out soon enough.
I guess certain people are going to be pretty annoying. Best to just kill em' with kindness. But im just not gonna conversate (not a word) with Sol anymore.
"what I'm being honest did you talk to her about writing a song already?"
Which was a reply to: "Goodnight sol"
which I wrote as a conclusion to the conversation when she writes: "oh ok um she's really busy tho her and kristy are starting a progea for youth and you don't have much money to pay her to feat."
Because I said: "oh ive been wanting to contact her because we met last monday at that Voices Merging Banquet. But my computer is down so I cant access the matrix."
Which I wrote in response to: " Um how that sounds like a question for her"
She says, because I asked: I have a song I want to write with her. Can you help me?"
Which is true. I had been writing the song earlier today. So I was ecstatic to her saying: yea dats my girl! she also did yo da movement and she's a dope community organizer."
And all I did was ask her: "have you met a vocalist named Alicia Steele?"
This motherfucker passive-aggressively just told me that I was too broke and not worth the time to make a song with this Alicia Steele.. Really?
I probably shoudlnt let it register on an emotional level though, because Sol doesnt have the best credibility with me, let alone other local artists I've talked to.
I was hesitant to write the entry in this way because I realized its now read regularly by people in the cities, so I've been writing up to this point with that in mind. But, that only made me bite my tongue and stopped me from writing how "I" like to write.. But we're here now aint we?
Some people may know Sol as a local poet/activist or whatever but to me, she's... just my ex-girlfriend. We dated a couple summers ago; Broke up. I broke up with her. She was just full of poetic, well-spoken shit to me. And it stunk like a rec-center full of rotting, decomposed heart cavities [In my spoken-word voice].
Are all poets like this? Was she just being honest? Because I sense malice in her for-your-information responses.. I also noticed though, that there is a bit of rivalry between poets and emcee's out here. Yeah, poets vs. emcees. Can you believe that shit?
I noticed it once when I went to this Open Mic at Artist Quarter in St. Paul. It was all spoken-word performances... And Guante, both a poet and emcee, told me later that night that venues like this usually frown upon emcee's that get on their stages and spit bars. So I wonder if her tone lacked respect because Im this "lowly" emcee trying to write a song with her vocalist associate...? Or an envious ex-girlfriend? A little taken aback that her ex-boyfriend that she couldnt get back with, is asking her about another woman?
Things like this always make me wonder what romance is like in the local music scene? One artist meeting another and dating him/her? Is it the same as your typical highschool sweetheart romance or meeting a person at a club on sheer chemistry? Is it strict or awkward? Like meeting a pretty woman at the office and asking her to dinner? Is it cute? Like finding your soulmate in college and studying together? Or is the Artist/Musicians romance different from all these?
Is it cruel and unusual? I wonder if people like these just fuck whoever they want whenever they want without concience... Get married and divorce four months later like in hollywood. Are these the kind of people passive-aggressively jumping from heart to the next preaching poetic-psychobabble to justfy hurt feelings? Or is this love very sunny and wonderful...? I'll probably find out soon enough.
I guess certain people are going to be pretty annoying. Best to just kill em' with kindness. But im just not gonna conversate (not a word) with Sol anymore.
Monday, May 9, 2011
The Blue Nile II - Taking Notes (Performing)
This one is from about 3 weeks ago:
"Is that all for you?"
"Yeah"... "wait, where's my wallet!?"
"Did you.. leave it in the bathroom?"
"Um.. no..", I say patting my pockets half-nervously.
"I have to retrace my steps", I tell the girl working the cash register at the Holiday (gas station). I had to run back to the Blue Nile to see if I left my wallet by the ATM; Nope. I wondered if I'd been pickpocketed? Turns out I dropped it by the bar because I had ordered a lemonade but... the bartender tells me the Blue Nile only takes cash or else a $10 minimum on credit. And I kinda already knew my card wasnt going to work but I figured I had at least 14 bucks left on it...
So I run back to Holiday to grab my cappachino..
"Found it?", she asks.
"Yah."
There's a guy in front of me. She grabs my cappachino which I had left on the counter and just hands it to me...
"Oh... I didnt pay for this yet"..
"Yeah, its ok"
"Oh.. thanks"
I look back at her ass and then walk out the door trying to decipher why I just got a free cappuccino... while Im crossing the street Im wondering "Am I supposed to... flirt with her? Did I just get flirted with?"
I kind of.. find a seat away from the bar where my $3 glass of lemonade is still sitting; untouched, and I get ready to write the bartender an I.O.U with my contact information but...
"couldnt find any cash?"
"yeah, I was just about to help you with..."
"Here you go man, on the house.."
"...um thanks man!"
So now I'm sitting down with my City Pages trying to decipher why Im staring at a free glass of lemonade. "Did they drug it?"
Am I just a cool looking guy? Is this what the world is really like? Do people just do cool things for strangers or was this just random? Or was this just unique to me? Guess I could shut the fuck up and read this paper and sip this free cappuccino though...
I'll be honest, I dont really know how...hmm... I never really have a plan for what Im going to perform, or how Im going to perform it... I just kind of recite the bars in my mind one or two times and let the rest take its natural course of events... Sometimes I'll fantasize the scene through my minds-eye once and then go back to thinking about whatever I was thinking about while I watch the city pass me by through those big bus windows.. Then I get there and just..
Its funny, your actually reading this while Im in the Blue Nile writing it. Well, its probably typed up on cyberspace by the time you read it but, im currently writing his in ink in my notebook...at the blue nile. Im waiting for Desdamona to get here; I havent performed yet. Got here a bit early...
....
After I got home I just fed my cat and took a shower. Exercised a little then fell asleep. The performance - MY performance was wack. No I didnt mess up or... the crowd didnt boo me or anything. Everyone clapped and stuff but... to me the performance was wack.
I did a musical piece and an acapella and it was appreciated. But I watched the performance of the two people after me (I signed up for first slot) and I enjoyed their performance more than my own. A friend I made at the Voice Mergin Banquet named Chris got up there and just freestyled with the live band that the Blue Nile is so famous for. And then there was this traveling singer and her band from New Orleans.... Magic.
She made me realize that there is a big difference between being a recording artist and being a performing artist... With her band she was able to improvise already written songs as she saw fit for the evening. They could go to the bridge and dance for a while, then return to the chorus and repeat the verse. Also the Intrumentalists had their own solo's as well...bringing even more dimension to the overall performance.
Once home in bed, staring up at the ceiling I tried to decipher what I could do to match the power of an entire band...
I did notice that when I was performing my musical piece with the live band, they... practically... drowned me out. Thats why I went acapella to do what I did to the Fifth element the week before.. But I dont want to be AGAINST the band. I want harmony... And I think that if they are improvising music...To become a performing artist I have to be improvisational as well. Either that or magnificently prepared...
Because really I was just reciting some "hot 16's" I had written in my rhymebook a couple months ago to the sound of their drums, bass and keyboardist.. I was spitting something that is really better heard through headphones. To be a live emcee most definitely must take more finesse...more creativity...
Maybe I should... nah...
Maybe I should take an oath to only do freestyles when performing at a place like the Blue Nile; A dim lit, Sexy-Grown-Up bar and restaurant where women come to look good and men come to get em'. Because freestyling (the styling of freedom through words) is the only thing I can think of in the emcee's arsenal that has the same innovative magic and genius as a live band.
Cool, I always thought recording artists where suit-and-tie emcee's anyway.... The journey of becoming a performance-emcee will definitely be a new step in my evolution. I'll have to reinvent the way I write songs... The way I think in freestyling will have to be strengthened. In fact, I should twist my mind into only using songs to fill-in when I slip on a freestyle and NOT freestyling when I slip on a song!...
Maybe I'll also have to watch my fashion as well...There is a woman - a singer named Brittany Bosco that I think is one of my musical influences... It was about 3 years ago that I stumbled upon a related-video of her on Youtube while I was watching Tea Leaf Dancers by Flying Lotus. I guess I kind of fell in love with her sound and absorbed it into my 17 year old brain at the time. I ripped the videos from her Youtube page and started studying her journey.. Now 3 years later everything is kind of coming full circle...
Fashion definitly has to do with being a performance artist. Its not only your self-expression but it is the visual that is left in the onlookers mind. In this Brittany Bosco's performances she looks like she had become her song...? I dont know if that makes sense... But its much like the New Orleans singer and her band... They seemed like they were their songs.... kind of... "transcendent" looking... I want to get to that level as an emcee; the level where I become "me".
"Is that all for you?"
"Yeah"... "wait, where's my wallet!?"
"Did you.. leave it in the bathroom?"
"Um.. no..", I say patting my pockets half-nervously.
"I have to retrace my steps", I tell the girl working the cash register at the Holiday (gas station). I had to run back to the Blue Nile to see if I left my wallet by the ATM; Nope. I wondered if I'd been pickpocketed? Turns out I dropped it by the bar because I had ordered a lemonade but... the bartender tells me the Blue Nile only takes cash or else a $10 minimum on credit. And I kinda already knew my card wasnt going to work but I figured I had at least 14 bucks left on it...
So I run back to Holiday to grab my cappachino..
"Found it?", she asks.
"Yah."
There's a guy in front of me. She grabs my cappachino which I had left on the counter and just hands it to me...
"Oh... I didnt pay for this yet"..
"Yeah, its ok"
"Oh.. thanks"
I look back at her ass and then walk out the door trying to decipher why I just got a free cappuccino... while Im crossing the street Im wondering "Am I supposed to... flirt with her? Did I just get flirted with?"
I kind of.. find a seat away from the bar where my $3 glass of lemonade is still sitting; untouched, and I get ready to write the bartender an I.O.U with my contact information but...
"couldnt find any cash?"
"yeah, I was just about to help you with..."
"Here you go man, on the house.."
"...um thanks man!"
So now I'm sitting down with my City Pages trying to decipher why Im staring at a free glass of lemonade. "Did they drug it?"
Am I just a cool looking guy? Is this what the world is really like? Do people just do cool things for strangers or was this just random? Or was this just unique to me? Guess I could shut the fuck up and read this paper and sip this free cappuccino though...
I'll be honest, I dont really know how...hmm... I never really have a plan for what Im going to perform, or how Im going to perform it... I just kind of recite the bars in my mind one or two times and let the rest take its natural course of events... Sometimes I'll fantasize the scene through my minds-eye once and then go back to thinking about whatever I was thinking about while I watch the city pass me by through those big bus windows.. Then I get there and just..
Its funny, your actually reading this while Im in the Blue Nile writing it. Well, its probably typed up on cyberspace by the time you read it but, im currently writing his in ink in my notebook...at the blue nile. Im waiting for Desdamona to get here; I havent performed yet. Got here a bit early...
....
After I got home I just fed my cat and took a shower. Exercised a little then fell asleep. The performance - MY performance was wack. No I didnt mess up or... the crowd didnt boo me or anything. Everyone clapped and stuff but... to me the performance was wack.
I did a musical piece and an acapella and it was appreciated. But I watched the performance of the two people after me (I signed up for first slot) and I enjoyed their performance more than my own. A friend I made at the Voice Mergin Banquet named Chris got up there and just freestyled with the live band that the Blue Nile is so famous for. And then there was this traveling singer and her band from New Orleans.... Magic.
She made me realize that there is a big difference between being a recording artist and being a performing artist... With her band she was able to improvise already written songs as she saw fit for the evening. They could go to the bridge and dance for a while, then return to the chorus and repeat the verse. Also the Intrumentalists had their own solo's as well...bringing even more dimension to the overall performance.
Once home in bed, staring up at the ceiling I tried to decipher what I could do to match the power of an entire band...
I did notice that when I was performing my musical piece with the live band, they... practically... drowned me out. Thats why I went acapella to do what I did to the Fifth element the week before.. But I dont want to be AGAINST the band. I want harmony... And I think that if they are improvising music...To become a performing artist I have to be improvisational as well. Either that or magnificently prepared...
Because really I was just reciting some "hot 16's" I had written in my rhymebook a couple months ago to the sound of their drums, bass and keyboardist.. I was spitting something that is really better heard through headphones. To be a live emcee most definitely must take more finesse...more creativity...
Maybe I should... nah...
Maybe I should take an oath to only do freestyles when performing at a place like the Blue Nile; A dim lit, Sexy-Grown-Up bar and restaurant where women come to look good and men come to get em'. Because freestyling (the styling of freedom through words) is the only thing I can think of in the emcee's arsenal that has the same innovative magic and genius as a live band.
Cool, I always thought recording artists where suit-and-tie emcee's anyway.... The journey of becoming a performance-emcee will definitely be a new step in my evolution. I'll have to reinvent the way I write songs... The way I think in freestyling will have to be strengthened. In fact, I should twist my mind into only using songs to fill-in when I slip on a freestyle and NOT freestyling when I slip on a song!...
Maybe I'll also have to watch my fashion as well...There is a woman - a singer named Brittany Bosco that I think is one of my musical influences... It was about 3 years ago that I stumbled upon a related-video of her on Youtube while I was watching Tea Leaf Dancers by Flying Lotus. I guess I kind of fell in love with her sound and absorbed it into my 17 year old brain at the time. I ripped the videos from her Youtube page and started studying her journey.. Now 3 years later everything is kind of coming full circle...
Fashion definitly has to do with being a performance artist. Its not only your self-expression but it is the visual that is left in the onlookers mind. In this Brittany Bosco's performances she looks like she had become her song...? I dont know if that makes sense... But its much like the New Orleans singer and her band... They seemed like they were their songs.... kind of... "transcendent" looking... I want to get to that level as an emcee; the level where I become "me".
Hiphop or Death
So this entry is from middle to late April (when my computer was down). I deduce that I was trying to sound out a plan in preparation for my new life. I get lazy sometimes though, this should have been up last week. So I'm up at 2:00 in the morning sipping tea and writing it from out my notebook. Its a bit aimless...
"Ok, before I dive into the city I'll need a few tools; Laptop to help me with my Networking, production and my graphic design projects; that'll probably run me almost 1200 dollars which is about 3 months of work. But if a laptop is that easy...a used car should come just as easily at 2,000 bucks... which is 4-5 months of work... this will make getting around cold-ass Minnesota smoothly. Especially when I need to make it to a show on time.. what if the show is far-out?
Damn, that's the whole 8 months.. I was hoping I'd have a few months to myself (so I can perform whenever). Well I guess I can pop in a few shows here and there while I work.. I should be out of high school by then so I'll have plenty time to sleep.. So.. Hip Hop and work. Until finally I get the tools I need. After I get those tools, Hip Hop will become my work.
The only way to crunch the time down probably is to borrow some money from my folks. 100 bucks here, a hundred bucks there..."
"Ok, before I dive into the city I'll need a few tools; Laptop to help me with my Networking, production and my graphic design projects; that'll probably run me almost 1200 dollars which is about 3 months of work. But if a laptop is that easy...a used car should come just as easily at 2,000 bucks... which is 4-5 months of work... this will make getting around cold-ass Minnesota smoothly. Especially when I need to make it to a show on time.. what if the show is far-out?
Damn, that's the whole 8 months.. I was hoping I'd have a few months to myself (so I can perform whenever). Well I guess I can pop in a few shows here and there while I work.. I should be out of high school by then so I'll have plenty time to sleep.. So.. Hip Hop and work. Until finally I get the tools I need. After I get those tools, Hip Hop will become my work.
The only way to crunch the time down probably is to borrow some money from my folks. 100 bucks here, a hundred bucks there..."
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Voice Merging II - HipHop and its little miracles
The Voices Merging: End of the Year Banquet was nice. This was about two weeks ago. Now FYI: im currently rushing the writing of a whole bunch of writings from April that I didnt get to post because my computer was down. I want to write about whats going on now...im drooling with excitement. I'll come back though and I'll story-tell a little more if I ever edit this post.. Because what you just read probably didnt make any sense..But anyway, I'd arrived later than I expected to because I had to spend 20-30 minutes finding the Coffman Theater (U of M) where the event was being held; found myself walking up and down Washington Avenue through all the college students, too pessimistic to ask directions. O'course, I had shown up to spit but... It was too late to sign up once I actually did find the place; found the Coffman Theater address on a Newspaper someone had left lying around. Therefore, I didnt make the list. However... for whatever reason, I did spit..
Oh! Before I continue on with the story, which I am telling as of May 3rd, check this shit I wrote down when I actually was there back in April:
"This sucks. Im here all alone. Everyone knows eachother and I dont know anyone...
Watching DJ Mixwell live engineer the show...
Guess I've got no choice then. I must give my brain and life to the Elements of HipHop. Breakdance, Emceein' Deejayin', Graffiti. This is the only future I can see myself existing in. Walkging through the campus I couldnt see a vision of myself as a student like these people. I feel my potential is for something else... I cannot see myself working a fast-food restaurant or some retail chump.. Cutting my hair!?... Guess thats not very mature or civilized of me.. Guess that makes me a motherfucking outlaw.
I... wonder if i can live gig to gig... Trading comfort for freedom and not knowing where the next meal will come from... living in a way that Is unorthodox to the traditional adult because it feels good."
Yeah, Not sure where I was going with that. And my Grammar was a tad off...
Something went wrong with a guitar input for this one girls performance... So while they were getting their technical difficulties sorted out, one of the hosts asks if anyone wants to come up and spit; and it was like they were talking to me in particular!
Im serious, the fact that that girl's performance just HAPPENED to be having some trouble at that moment... I dont know why but... well... and I hesitate to say/write this but... I feel like there's - Ok look, let me preface this: Im not trying to sound crazy but, I think there's some Divine Intervention stuff going on around here... And you might laugh at this next statement because it seems like common knowledge but, im starting to notice that when when I show up at Hip Hop Gatherings... STUFF HAPPENS !
Stuff that isnt planned out...
Spontaeneous stuff...
Look, I went to that event to spit and see that girl again... and you know what happened when that desire became impossible? An unforeseen circumstance was created that allowed me to rip the mic and then that girl came and talked to me!..
I dont know... am I just mystifying things that happen all the time? I feel like Samuel Jackson in Pulp Fiction after they murdered those dudes in their own apartment, got shot at by the one guy hiding in the bathroom...who emptied the clip at them from no more than 10 feet away and yet missed every shot. You know, the scene where they look down slowly to see that they weren't hit and then shoot the guy back... Killed him dead.
And Vincent goes over to ask Marvin, the guys friend, "Why the fuck didnt you tell us someone was in the bathroom? Slip your mind? Did you forget someone was in there with a god damn hand cannon!?"
Still analyzing and in awe, Jules is all like "Did you see the size of that gun he fired at us? It was bigger than HIM..." he looks back at the five or six 50-caliber bullet holes in the wall behind him and says, "We should be fucking dead man.."
To which Vincent replies, " I know...we was lucky..."
And thus, A dialogue ensues between these two. A dialogue that im having with myself at this very moment because I don't know what to believe... Was it destiny or was I just a victim of circumstance? It's like watching a battle between things that are supposed to happen vs. things that have to happen...
And so Jules continues on: "Nah... nah that shit wasnt luck..." He pauses... then states, "This was Divine Intervention. Do you know what divine intervention is?"
"I think so...That means that god came down from heaven and stopped the bullets?"
"Thats right! Thats EXACTLY what it means; God came down from heaven and stopped these motherfucking bullets.."
"I think its time for us to leave, Jules."
"Dont do that! Dont fucking blow this shit off. What just happened here was a fucking miracle!"
"Chill Jules, this shit happens.."
"Wrong! Wrong! This shit doesnt just happen!"
"Do you want to continue this theological discussion in the car, or in a jailhouse with the cops?"
"We should be fucking dead my friend! What happened here was a miracle and I want you to fucking acknowledge it!"
Mumbling Incoherently (Tuesday, April 19th, 2011)
Currently at home... Quite Aimless... Blog? Jetsa... IFMN... Quality... Negrosaki... Rhymebook...Romance... Girl... Voices Merging.. Open Mic... Blue Nile... Refreshment; Soul Food.
Sleepy...Wednesday, Favor Cafe... Wall of HipHop.. Soul Food.. Destiny.. Love.. Lonely... Cash Check... Chapter 5 math.. Chapter 6.. Chapter 7.. Raise GPA.. College... Journalism.. U of M.. New Life...
Job... Apps.. Hunt.. Money.. Studio.. Apartment.. Music.. New Life
Sleepy...Wednesday, Favor Cafe... Wall of HipHop.. Soul Food.. Destiny.. Love.. Lonely... Cash Check... Chapter 5 math.. Chapter 6.. Chapter 7.. Raise GPA.. College... Journalism.. U of M.. New Life...
Job... Apps.. Hunt.. Money.. Studio.. Apartment.. Music.. New Life
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
The Fith Element II - O.D
Im worried. After my performance, I stepped down from the stage to get to the door; get some fresh air but, I had to shake everyone's hand on the way there. So... It took a while.
The reason I didnt start the story before my performance is because I dont want to toot my own horn, as they say. But, yes I did a very good job. And yes I did battle this cat named Street Legal on stage. Yes I did win...
Im trying to write this without being what I call journalist-corny. Which means writing an experience down all fantastically with all kinds of unnecessary enthusiasm and magic... But writing this and knowing someone is reading it makes me want to write entertainingly. But then, this isnt about you, this is about me...which is what im having a problem deciphering.
See, I noticed that everytime I was introduced to someone by Susan, I would refer to myself as O.D. But really Im Demetrius...I think... I mean... Demetrius is my identity... I mean...
Why didnt I introduce myself as Demetrius? I mean, that is my name. But... O.D is my name too/now. You may think I'm over analyzing this but I feel like to say that I am O.D, is to say that I am not Demetrius...anymore. Or is it all one in the same?
Im worried. I kind of feel like Peter Parker when he started becoming Venom. Its like O.D is trying to synthesize with my personality or something... Yes, I look at it as an entity of its own...Slowly fusing with my own identity.
And as O.D becomes more famous or respected, so shall Demetrius, right?
But people dont know Im Demetrius, they think i'm O.D. And I...I guess the question is, "am I O.D too?, or is it just a nickname?" Is it just subservant to Demetrius?
So after I walk to the Gas Station down the street to get a cappachino, I come back to Fifth Element to just hang around. People are asking me for my number and giving me their's and its...flattering. Theyre telling me how talented I am and I respond shy as hell. Trying to be humble and modest.
There was this one Emcee in particular.. Wait... I mean this one guy. Wait... Do I refer of him as an emcee or a guy?...
Ok, let me get my thoughts together...
... Well, he tells me that my lyrics are refreshing. And another guy tells me that he's inspired to write better. And Im thinking to myself "who takes the credit on this? O.D? or Demetrius?"
It seems to me that im going to have to find out if O.D is a name or an Identity. Is it the identity of Demetrius and Demetrius is the personality of O.D? Or is everything in reverse? Or am I Demetrius evovling into O.D?
I wonder if this some path laid out by Hiphop for me to begin evolving. Or maybe becoming Hiphop is making me share traits with it. Hiphop seems to transcend the identities of race, cultures and other affiliations with the world. So maybe its natural that I do the same.
Eh... I dont know.
The reason I didnt start the story before my performance is because I dont want to toot my own horn, as they say. But, yes I did a very good job. And yes I did battle this cat named Street Legal on stage. Yes I did win...
Im trying to write this without being what I call journalist-corny. Which means writing an experience down all fantastically with all kinds of unnecessary enthusiasm and magic... But writing this and knowing someone is reading it makes me want to write entertainingly. But then, this isnt about you, this is about me...which is what im having a problem deciphering.
See, I noticed that everytime I was introduced to someone by Susan, I would refer to myself as O.D. But really Im Demetrius...I think... I mean... Demetrius is my identity... I mean...
Why didnt I introduce myself as Demetrius? I mean, that is my name. But... O.D is my name too/now. You may think I'm over analyzing this but I feel like to say that I am O.D, is to say that I am not Demetrius...anymore. Or is it all one in the same?
Im worried. I kind of feel like Peter Parker when he started becoming Venom. Its like O.D is trying to synthesize with my personality or something... Yes, I look at it as an entity of its own...Slowly fusing with my own identity.
And as O.D becomes more famous or respected, so shall Demetrius, right?
But people dont know Im Demetrius, they think i'm O.D. And I...I guess the question is, "am I O.D too?, or is it just a nickname?" Is it just subservant to Demetrius?
So after I walk to the Gas Station down the street to get a cappachino, I come back to Fifth Element to just hang around. People are asking me for my number and giving me their's and its...flattering. Theyre telling me how talented I am and I respond shy as hell. Trying to be humble and modest.
There was this one Emcee in particular.. Wait... I mean this one guy. Wait... Do I refer of him as an emcee or a guy?...
Ok, let me get my thoughts together...
... Well, he tells me that my lyrics are refreshing. And another guy tells me that he's inspired to write better. And Im thinking to myself "who takes the credit on this? O.D? or Demetrius?"
It seems to me that im going to have to find out if O.D is a name or an Identity. Is it the identity of Demetrius and Demetrius is the personality of O.D? Or is everything in reverse? Or am I Demetrius evovling into O.D?
I wonder if this some path laid out by Hiphop for me to begin evolving. Or maybe becoming Hiphop is making me share traits with it. Hiphop seems to transcend the identities of race, cultures and other affiliations with the world. So maybe its natural that I do the same.
Eh... I dont know.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
The Blue Nile
Sigh... eh.. one of those days. One of those days where you just feel like bleh...take inventory on your life and realize you haven't really been accomplishing anything. Or even if you have, its not as satisfying as you want it to be. So it insists that you haven't accomplished "enough".
Sigh.. Well i'm glad I caught myself. And its a good thing I love to write too, so im just venting... Its easy to get caught in the blues. Sometimes im bluesy out of habit and nothing else...I just get so used to doing it that it becomes a bit of a comfort zone for me...Its a complicated emotion.
That's probably why I felt a little if-y about going to the Blue Nile for the first time last Tuesday (its Saturday now). I mean, when I left I felt vulnerable because I didnt do my little ritual where I self-doubt myself and come up with a reason not to go... I just got dressed and hopped on the bus. Had to be around 9:30 at night...
I didnt get there until after 10:30 though on account of the buses run so slowly at night... So I had some time to walk around Downtown and consider goin' on back home.. Found myself on 8th and Nicollet in a Bus Shelter with 4 other people contemplating whether or not I was goin to do it..
This drunkard walks in the scene all goofy and talkative; breaking the silence. He was this old black guy; well-dressed I suppose. I dont know why but the guy suddenly gets all self-pitying talking about how he needs to stop drinking and get his life together and...go see his kids or somethin'. Not talking to anyone in particular...Just.. looking off in the distance with his back to us... I dont know, somethin about his sorrow made me snap out of my own bluesy trance and get on the 22 bus down to Franklin and Cedar. And I'll admit, the closer I got to the venue, the better I started to feel..
I liked the place, it was sexy. I guess it was a bar type place? With a stage and a dancefloor.. Look, I don't get out alot ok? Well anyway, I met Desdamona again and this time I introduced myself. I didn't get to perform on account of being so damn late.. But I stayed until about Midnight; just people-watchin'.
I know I always say this but, there was this really sexy woman there that caught my eye.. which is saying something because I was blind as hell that night. I left the house without my glasses or contact lenses not knowing what was going to happen to me. Stupidity or bravery?
Anyway, going to that Urban-Sexy venue gave me a bit of a reality check on where I want to be in my life. I just turned 20 a month ago and Im still bitchin like a 19 year old...And im in highschool... Thats not what I want. Just talked to a old friend from middle school who says he's starting college on Monday..
Im starting to notice that every time I go out on one of these HipHop adventures, I not only find truth's of the world but I find a new truth in myself that I wasnt able to see by just sitting in the house all introverted and shit... I'm watching these musician's from backstage and everyone is passing me you know? Back and forth, back and forth with guitars and... notebooks and drinks and smiles and... I said to myself..I said: " Im in the way..."
I said to myself "im not in their league...", I live with my pops and I dont have a job. I just realized my smarts and talents didnt count for shit at that moment. I felt like a ghost watching Desdamona work that show. And all those musicians and conversations and friends and friends and such and I wasn't apart of it? I felt like this: I was right there and nobody even saw me....Its like HipHop is telling me to grow up.
*Huh...
Sigh.. Well i'm glad I caught myself. And its a good thing I love to write too, so im just venting... Its easy to get caught in the blues. Sometimes im bluesy out of habit and nothing else...I just get so used to doing it that it becomes a bit of a comfort zone for me...Its a complicated emotion.
That's probably why I felt a little if-y about going to the Blue Nile for the first time last Tuesday (its Saturday now). I mean, when I left I felt vulnerable because I didnt do my little ritual where I self-doubt myself and come up with a reason not to go... I just got dressed and hopped on the bus. Had to be around 9:30 at night...
I didnt get there until after 10:30 though on account of the buses run so slowly at night... So I had some time to walk around Downtown and consider goin' on back home.. Found myself on 8th and Nicollet in a Bus Shelter with 4 other people contemplating whether or not I was goin to do it..
This drunkard walks in the scene all goofy and talkative; breaking the silence. He was this old black guy; well-dressed I suppose. I dont know why but the guy suddenly gets all self-pitying talking about how he needs to stop drinking and get his life together and...go see his kids or somethin'. Not talking to anyone in particular...Just.. looking off in the distance with his back to us... I dont know, somethin about his sorrow made me snap out of my own bluesy trance and get on the 22 bus down to Franklin and Cedar. And I'll admit, the closer I got to the venue, the better I started to feel..
I liked the place, it was sexy. I guess it was a bar type place? With a stage and a dancefloor.. Look, I don't get out alot ok? Well anyway, I met Desdamona again and this time I introduced myself. I didn't get to perform on account of being so damn late.. But I stayed until about Midnight; just people-watchin'.
I know I always say this but, there was this really sexy woman there that caught my eye.. which is saying something because I was blind as hell that night. I left the house without my glasses or contact lenses not knowing what was going to happen to me. Stupidity or bravery?
Anyway, going to that Urban-Sexy venue gave me a bit of a reality check on where I want to be in my life. I just turned 20 a month ago and Im still bitchin like a 19 year old...And im in highschool... Thats not what I want. Just talked to a old friend from middle school who says he's starting college on Monday..
Im starting to notice that every time I go out on one of these HipHop adventures, I not only find truth's of the world but I find a new truth in myself that I wasnt able to see by just sitting in the house all introverted and shit... I'm watching these musician's from backstage and everyone is passing me you know? Back and forth, back and forth with guitars and... notebooks and drinks and smiles and... I said to myself..I said: " Im in the way..."
I said to myself "im not in their league...", I live with my pops and I dont have a job. I just realized my smarts and talents didnt count for shit at that moment. I felt like a ghost watching Desdamona work that show. And all those musicians and conversations and friends and friends and such and I wasn't apart of it? I felt like this: I was right there and nobody even saw me....Its like HipHop is telling me to grow up.
*Huh...
Monday, March 28, 2011
Voices Merging
I am so... sleepy... but i said I was going to write this so I am. Oh I wish i could upload some pictures for you guys but, unfortunately I need a new camera so you'll have to settle for my writings in bare form for now.
I arrived home laughing; it was a good night. I had arrived a little too late to sign up for the performers list so I found myself signing up for the audience list instead which I detest a bit. But it was worth it, I got to see local Hip Hop Royalty Desdamona and Carnage rip the mic.
Its pretty cool, Carnage recognized me from the event in St. Paul that I attended to with the HSRA choir, though I performed independently. So I felt and still feel really bad about not having that video ready yet for Rachel and its been so long. Well that was the least of my worries at the time because guess who I bumped into for the first time in a long while?
My First love from 4 or 5 years ago was there at the open Mic. Woah, im falling asleep at the computer. I'll elaborate later on today. Peace
Okay so I got some sleep, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I saw Jazzmin there with another girl i'd known since middle school. They recognized me right off bat which was kind of wierd to me... There was no hesitation when they saw me just "Hey Demetrius!" and then hugs... And seeing them was nice but there was something more interesting to watch once I sat down to watch the performances. I didn't catch her name and we all know im too shy to just walk up to her and ask when other people are around (that's my excuse). She was pretty. Long black hair and glasses...probably in her 20's and I guess she was one of the Voices Merging visual artists... I don't know, I don't want to ramble too much because if I do, this whole blog will be about me on this HipHop quest to find her on some Brown Sugar shit and probably get the story turned into a movie...
Well when I got home that mixed emotion became inspiration to begin writing this song im going to call "pick-up line". Its funny, When I write I construct these fantasies and I see these...scenes when I write... Especially when writing about a person in particular. My creative energy combined with pen, pad and a heavy beat some how put me in this...meditation and I begin to write out the things I see in my minds eye through english.
In this case I wrote out a scene so vividly I could almost...almost... almost... I could almost reach out and touch her... It may be strange to you 5-9ers, but to the artist this is normal. I've never even spoken to this girl and yet i've already developed a relationship with her that she doesn't even know about...its kinda like I heard Desdamona say while she was on the mic with it: "all you ever helped me with was write this rhyme..." (I may have misquoted).
If you take a look at one of my rhymebooks you will see lyrics from front to back and think "Wow this guy has alot of rhymes he's trying to turn into songs" but truly, My rhymebooks are full of fantasies Im trying to turn into reality but I lack something... Confidence I think. Its almost self-sabotage because I do have the confidence, we all do, I just dont let myself go there yet for some reason. Im slowly starting to lose that habit though. Its strange, something is changing me. And I dont want to sound corny but I think its HipHop somehow. Its helping me to become more and more like how I picture myself in my head...
*Shrugs
I arrived home laughing; it was a good night. I had arrived a little too late to sign up for the performers list so I found myself signing up for the audience list instead which I detest a bit. But it was worth it, I got to see local Hip Hop Royalty Desdamona and Carnage rip the mic.
Its pretty cool, Carnage recognized me from the event in St. Paul that I attended to with the HSRA choir, though I performed independently. So I felt and still feel really bad about not having that video ready yet for Rachel and its been so long. Well that was the least of my worries at the time because guess who I bumped into for the first time in a long while?
My First love from 4 or 5 years ago was there at the open Mic. Woah, im falling asleep at the computer. I'll elaborate later on today. Peace
Okay so I got some sleep, where was I going with this? Oh yeah, I saw Jazzmin there with another girl i'd known since middle school. They recognized me right off bat which was kind of wierd to me... There was no hesitation when they saw me just "Hey Demetrius!" and then hugs... And seeing them was nice but there was something more interesting to watch once I sat down to watch the performances. I didn't catch her name and we all know im too shy to just walk up to her and ask when other people are around (that's my excuse). She was pretty. Long black hair and glasses...probably in her 20's and I guess she was one of the Voices Merging visual artists... I don't know, I don't want to ramble too much because if I do, this whole blog will be about me on this HipHop quest to find her on some Brown Sugar shit and probably get the story turned into a movie...
Well when I got home that mixed emotion became inspiration to begin writing this song im going to call "pick-up line". Its funny, When I write I construct these fantasies and I see these...scenes when I write... Especially when writing about a person in particular. My creative energy combined with pen, pad and a heavy beat some how put me in this...meditation and I begin to write out the things I see in my minds eye through english.
In this case I wrote out a scene so vividly I could almost...almost... almost... I could almost reach out and touch her... It may be strange to you 5-9ers, but to the artist this is normal. I've never even spoken to this girl and yet i've already developed a relationship with her that she doesn't even know about...its kinda like I heard Desdamona say while she was on the mic with it: "all you ever helped me with was write this rhyme..." (I may have misquoted).
If you take a look at one of my rhymebooks you will see lyrics from front to back and think "Wow this guy has alot of rhymes he's trying to turn into songs" but truly, My rhymebooks are full of fantasies Im trying to turn into reality but I lack something... Confidence I think. Its almost self-sabotage because I do have the confidence, we all do, I just dont let myself go there yet for some reason. Im slowly starting to lose that habit though. Its strange, something is changing me. And I dont want to sound corny but I think its HipHop somehow. Its helping me to become more and more like how I picture myself in my head...
*Shrugs
Friday, March 25, 2011
The Beat Assassin Project
So i am currently working with quite a few producers and they are expecting some good stuff. Well, you see the misery of the Hip Hop producer when he gives his/her beat to an Emcee is that sometimes the emcee never delivers you know? And its very dissapointing becuasce the Emcee gets the producer all hyped up and sometimes never delivers the goods. Sometimes this makes some producers get kind of mean or "touchy" about their beats and they develop a bit of a resentment toward emcee's.. Its true.
Well thats how it is in 2011 anyway, but thats not too different from 20 years ago during the transition from The light age of Hip Hop (1980-1990) to the golden age of Hip Hop (1990-2000) when the emcee's left their DJ's/turntablists to pursue contracts with corporations creating "hip-hop".. As Teacha' says man, Once the Golden Era hit, Graffiti, Breakdancing and Turntablin' no longer were seen as relevant means of expressing Hip Hop in Mainstream America; Rapping was now solely the relevant definition of what it meant to be a Hiphoppa... (to the naked eye) so alot of emcee's sold out and left their DJ's.
But im rambling, my Beat Assassin project is a series of mixtapes produced by these randomly fantastic people I stumble across. Its almost an apology on behalf of emcee's because it really is all about the beats. Well thats the way im going to present the tapes anyway. In doing this project I hope to bridge at least MY connection back to the DJ's/Producers and open up a new chamber in my HipHop growth process.
Well thats the goal. But I need a deadline for each project because I have these producers well... kind of fucked up. Especially my good friend Quality, who I like to refer to as Johnny Boy Wonder. We've been working on his tape for 2 months now and havent really gotten anything solid laid down. And he deserves this tape done by the end of April.
Also CVS the abstract, who caught my ear by way of youtube, we connected through facebook and I've written 3, 4 or 5 songs to his and havent gotten the recordings done just yet. He got me up on Reverbnation by the way.
I know im kind of going all over the place but do you want to know what my ultimate tape would be? Flying Lotus... Man... I wish I could meet this guy just once you know? I admit I cannot grasp the magnitude of his ambitions but the music speaks to me. And I kinda... dream of being on his label. Well first things first right? Gotta get to work!
Well thats how it is in 2011 anyway, but thats not too different from 20 years ago during the transition from The light age of Hip Hop (1980-1990) to the golden age of Hip Hop (1990-2000) when the emcee's left their DJ's/turntablists to pursue contracts with corporations creating "hip-hop".. As Teacha' says man, Once the Golden Era hit, Graffiti, Breakdancing and Turntablin' no longer were seen as relevant means of expressing Hip Hop in Mainstream America; Rapping was now solely the relevant definition of what it meant to be a Hiphoppa... (to the naked eye) so alot of emcee's sold out and left their DJ's.
But im rambling, my Beat Assassin project is a series of mixtapes produced by these randomly fantastic people I stumble across. Its almost an apology on behalf of emcee's because it really is all about the beats. Well thats the way im going to present the tapes anyway. In doing this project I hope to bridge at least MY connection back to the DJ's/Producers and open up a new chamber in my HipHop growth process.
Well thats the goal. But I need a deadline for each project because I have these producers well... kind of fucked up. Especially my good friend Quality, who I like to refer to as Johnny Boy Wonder. We've been working on his tape for 2 months now and havent really gotten anything solid laid down. And he deserves this tape done by the end of April.
Also CVS the abstract, who caught my ear by way of youtube, we connected through facebook and I've written 3, 4 or 5 songs to his and havent gotten the recordings done just yet. He got me up on Reverbnation by the way.
I know im kind of going all over the place but do you want to know what my ultimate tape would be? Flying Lotus... Man... I wish I could meet this guy just once you know? I admit I cannot grasp the magnitude of his ambitions but the music speaks to me. And I kinda... dream of being on his label. Well first things first right? Gotta get to work!
Friday, March 11, 2011
Rap Names
Well, haven't been performing... and I probably spelled "haven't" wrong just now too... does the apostrophe go before or after the n? Oh well, maybe I'll just say "have not" from now on.. Anyway, Im working on my album/mixtape so I have not been doing any performing or doing any of my Hip Hop documentation. I need to though. I owe it to a woman named Rachel Johnson that I met at this community performance I went to with the HSRA choir...But later for that...
I'll be recording it this weekend, the album. Its called "I'm Angry". I am pretty much just lyrically/comedically attacking everything that's making me angry in Hip Hop right now. From skinny jeans to chicks-who-are-hot-and-pretend-that-they-are-good-people-but-are-really-hoes-that-have-had-sex-with-basically-all-of-my-music-associates-because-she-doesnt-seem-like-the-type-but-she-is-the-type-that-tramp type stuff..
Rappers turned singers, mark ass tricks, trick ass marks, scallywops and scallywags...
Also, I've taken on a new emcee name. Well, I should say I've taken on another alias: O.D. Why? I feel it captures my internal ambitions more... I'm still Knowone though...
I'll be recording it this weekend, the album. Its called "I'm Angry". I am pretty much just lyrically/comedically attacking everything that's making me angry in Hip Hop right now. From skinny jeans to chicks-who-are-hot-and-pretend-that-they-are-good-people-but-are-really-hoes-that-have-had-sex-with-basically-all-of-my-music-associates-because-she-doesnt-seem-like-the-type-but-she-is-the-type-that-tramp type stuff..
Rappers turned singers, mark ass tricks, trick ass marks, scallywops and scallywags...
Also, I've taken on a new emcee name. Well, I should say I've taken on another alias: O.D. Why? I feel it captures my internal ambitions more... I'm still Knowone though...
Monday, March 7, 2011
Not quite depression and yet not quite anger...
I could probably do alot. Im talented. I did another Open Mic a few weeks ago but... havent edited the video yet. Guess your expecting to read my charming writings and get a read on me. There's really nothing to read though...
I guess this is one of my rants I go on when im feeling down...
I dont remember there being any long period in my life in which I was happy, or at peace on a consistant basis. Instead Im usually sad with small periods of joy. But still, I dont remember the last period of joy or what I was doing or what it made it joyful.
I dont know what I... what I want to really do... I just.
Im very lonely. Even when surrounded by people.
So say I go ahead on this musical career path as a strangely fantastic Hip Hop rapper and producer and journalist/writer... I do shows, people cheer... we take pictures, they tell all their friends... I tell all my friends... We facebook, we twitter, we yahoo...
I'll be 20 this sunday... It'll be my 20th time around the sun. I... dont know what im trying to write anymore. Just a bunch of cleverly worded sadness about me being pessimistic about the future... All because im... I think im probably heartbroken. I just didnt realize it because this would be... the 4th or 5th one... I remember the 1st two had some more feeling to the pain. Perhaps... im nerve damaged or numb now. Or just dont care anymore.
I used to be more optimistic... "oh this'll transfer over to good energy" etc... I was able to use my imagination to marginalize the pain into something i can get over...and... that would give some hope to the whole "oh, there's someone out there" thing... But im running out of idea's...
I guess that's why all those celebrities in showbiz do all that cocaine. How would you feel to find out that instead of less heartbreak and more freedom you recieve more heartbreak and less freedom? Well, I've never done drugs and I do not drink liquor. Cleanliness is next to godliness as they say... but... im starting to feel like Atlas, the greek titan/god, holding the earth up on his back... Down on one knee from the weight of the world...
Sad, isnt it?
Its the path i've chosen though. even though... all path's seem to have a lot of sadness to them, even if I were a emcee of rockstar mentality (parties, drugs, sex etc.), Theyre just as lonely as me. I dont know what im trying to get at, I just... with all my wisdom and knowledge, i feel like i dont know anything...
This path of honor I walk... hurts...
well, they say pain is weakness leaving the body...
We'll see.
I guess this is one of my rants I go on when im feeling down...
I dont remember there being any long period in my life in which I was happy, or at peace on a consistant basis. Instead Im usually sad with small periods of joy. But still, I dont remember the last period of joy or what I was doing or what it made it joyful.
I dont know what I... what I want to really do... I just.
Im very lonely. Even when surrounded by people.
So say I go ahead on this musical career path as a strangely fantastic Hip Hop rapper and producer and journalist/writer... I do shows, people cheer... we take pictures, they tell all their friends... I tell all my friends... We facebook, we twitter, we yahoo...
I'll be 20 this sunday... It'll be my 20th time around the sun. I... dont know what im trying to write anymore. Just a bunch of cleverly worded sadness about me being pessimistic about the future... All because im... I think im probably heartbroken. I just didnt realize it because this would be... the 4th or 5th one... I remember the 1st two had some more feeling to the pain. Perhaps... im nerve damaged or numb now. Or just dont care anymore.
I used to be more optimistic... "oh this'll transfer over to good energy" etc... I was able to use my imagination to marginalize the pain into something i can get over...and... that would give some hope to the whole "oh, there's someone out there" thing... But im running out of idea's...
I guess that's why all those celebrities in showbiz do all that cocaine. How would you feel to find out that instead of less heartbreak and more freedom you recieve more heartbreak and less freedom? Well, I've never done drugs and I do not drink liquor. Cleanliness is next to godliness as they say... but... im starting to feel like Atlas, the greek titan/god, holding the earth up on his back... Down on one knee from the weight of the world...
Sad, isnt it?
Its the path i've chosen though. even though... all path's seem to have a lot of sadness to them, even if I were a emcee of rockstar mentality (parties, drugs, sex etc.), Theyre just as lonely as me. I dont know what im trying to get at, I just... with all my wisdom and knowledge, i feel like i dont know anything...
This path of honor I walk... hurts...
well, they say pain is weakness leaving the body...
We'll see.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Some Canvas and Some 5th Element
Im always lazy about these Journal entries or whatever ya want to call em'. Guess im not a very formal guy. Its been 7 days already...Jeez...Well... I'll try to take you all back to last thursday.It was cold as hell outside while I was waiting on the last bus to a distant land far-far away called "Crystal"... Yet, I couldnt really tell. I only gather that it was cold from all the innocent people shivering and bitchin'
while we all stood under a building on 7th and Nicollet. or was that 8th?
I forget...
Yeah, must have my adrenaline from shuttin' down that Open Mic at 5th Element 15 minutes ago. For those of you who dont know, The 5th Element is a record store Uptown Minneapolis but they have Open Mic's and such every thursday..
I had got there just late enough to make Emcee #20 on the sign up sheet. "KNOWONE" in plain bold letters cause the host, Medium Zach kinda said my name wrong last time I was there.
Well, he'd say it right this time but it just so happens they called me up with 3 other dudes because 5th Element closes at 9:00. 20 Emcee's..Well, 17 by my count because there were some wack ass trapstar rappers in there - But 20 emcee's, 5 minutes a slot. I got there with Susan around say... 7:40ish?... if you do the math correctly, by the time 9:00 got around there was still 4 cats left on the list. Me, two rappers, and a singer. A minute a piece..
I had Medium Zach cut the beat cause i was goin' last...
I should have had someone record me but I didnt...against my better judgement.
Well, I hear-tell I "Killed it". Nuff said'
Well, all that followed my little observation of the Canvas. I didnt get to spit, which led to my mouth watering like a mad dog to spit at the 5th Element. Yeah... I left early. Well, at least I was able to play journalist at the venue's. It was interesting watching the baby emcee's spit at the Canvas.
Some nervous... Some comfy. Some corny. But as im filming, this baby emcee points at the camera as if she'd done it before. Like she's "talking to her fan's" on the other side. And i thought to myself "where did she learn to do that?"
"How did she know to do something so HIPHOP?"
Well, It was an interesting night either way. Some unorthodox characters turned up at the 5th element to spit...and...
Maybe im selfish... I kind of want to talk about myself right now. To be honest im feeling like im... eh... I'll tell ya later. Im just... goin' through some stuff...
Damn I need a girlfriend...
Sunday, January 30, 2011
5th Annual Twin Cities HipHop Awards
Saturday, January 29th, 2010
Just as crowded as I'd expected. The First Ave venue, as big as it is, was quite cozy tonight. I'll admit it got a little intimate with a few ladies as I attempted to slide my way to the front of the crowd. Which is good news because I had just bought a new outfit that morning at the Marshalls in Nicollet Mall so its good to know I was good looking enough to unintentionally rub up against people without getting knocked out.
It was HipHop alright. But despite how I wanted things to go, I got there an hour late and left an hour early because Metro Transit sucks...So I made it to the front to see a beautiful host who I do not know. Followed by a performance from rappers that I'll admit I'd never heard of. And yet, I felt I was around familiars. Thats what HipHop will do to you, mark my words.
Dimly lit in back, Flashing lights up front. I guesstimate there were at least a thousand people there... maybe thats a bit much. Look, it was alot of people. We were all good looking men, and good looking women. All either with cellphone in hand, drink in hand, or hand in hand. Anybody leavin' out of that place with somebody, was gonna have a reeeaall good night, I assure you.But I recall it was quite musty...
Maybe thats how its supposed to be though. Maybe thats how our parents danced to HipHop in their day with their Kool Moe Dee's and LL Cool J's. With that DJ on the turntables back there with his Kangol hat and two hosts tellin' you to "Make some Muthafuckin' Noise!" You walk into the spot and its loud, sexy, and its funky. HipHop... and yet it was all somehow chill despite how hype it was. You feel as though your surrounded by familiar strangers.
..I met internet sensation 50 Tyson by the way. You know people make fun of this guy alot but i've come to the conclusion that he is to the Twin Cities what Biz Markie was to HipHop so many years ago. Well, I exaggerate. Biz Markie was a beatboxer, turntablist, dancer and emcee. This kid here? I should say has the potential to be like a 2nd Biz Markie.
Now reader, Im no 'official" journalist. Im not accredited with any fancy writing degree or anything like that. and I only say this stop any presumption that Im at all politically correct. Im just a storyteller. Meaning, if you've ever been offended by anything in your life, you need to stop reading right now...
You could say im documenting and writing for spiritual reasons. I happen to love HipHop religiously. So I've decided to be a bit of what Homer was to Odysseus (ever heard of The Odyssey?)
Well I'm rambling again..
Anyway, after meeting with 50, I saw he had Starr in his entourage, though, I once knew her as Nasia.I thought "I recognize this girl, does she recognize me?"..I went back to a scene of me and her talking on the phone for hours a few years ago and I wondered if she went back there too when she saw me.. I was 17... And I think she was too.
For a moment while we we're standing up front, I found myself trying to get a read on her. Not sure what to think... But I'll tell you our story later.
Well the award show was everything I wanted it to be. They had real awards for real artists:
"Best Hustler Award",
"Minneapolis/St. Paul Mayor Award".
Well after that, I found myself exhausted. Both physically and financially. And I made it home with just enough money to tip the cab driver. Kicked off my shoes. Caught some zzz's...
S H O U T O U T OF THE DAY S E C T I O N
Miki Starr Is the Illest!She is an accomplished writer and graphic designer.
Grab her new read: Psycho.
..I am.
Luckily, I am one of her former students. I got even more lucky when I stumbled upon her facebook page and found a link to all of her published work and stuff.
1. Add the Facebook
2. Like the Facebook
3. Read the Book
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